Now is the time

The young man walks down the road
doesn't travel very far
and when he reaches the end of the road
he turns and travels back
"I am not ready for what lies ahead
I just need some more time"
So every day he walks that road
and always turns around

Then one day he sees a storm
and thinks "now's the time"
and pushes headlong into the storm
as rain drops and lightning cracks
"What better time to pass this way
it can only get better"
but then the fire of hell came up
to make is soul surrender

Now is the time for bravery
Now is the time for strength.
Now is the time for the heroes
to leave the Golden Gates
Now is the time for man
to stand and prove his worth
We are the change in the world
We are the hope of the earth.

The Last Post for Two Years

Dudes and Dudettes,
The time has come. I am about to embark on a two year LDS mission to the New York, New York North area speaking Spanish. I'm not much good at good-byes so I will simply say God be with you till we meet again.

Jilted Lovers and Broken Hearts

This is a good song...so listen to it.....

The Road Will Never End

What evil comes to me
drifting like rejected dreams
pulling me away
from the brightness of another day
he binds me for lack of faith
just waits for me to fade
and for the darkness of the shade
he is patient in every way

I need a helping hand
I need a listening ear
the darkness comes to me
yet no longer do I fear
Fight back the tears of hope
I thought I lost my grace
but then I saw your eyes
and I knew I had a second chance

There's no one there to help
but wait, here comes the rain
falling like miracles diamonds
washing away the pain
And for the darkness the shade
he will never rise
he's stopped when time goes by
looking in your sapphire eyes

I'm now ready to walk the road
to travel and never fail
I know my master is there
even though he's out of sight, I swear
that I will never lower my voice
I will never stop to rest
I know I must carry on
because the road will never end

Courtesy of J. Golden Kimball

Well.....Could have been worse
could have been a birthday......

To not be a "H8er"

There are things that people don't like, that is inevitable. But at what point does not liking something become "hating" or "being a hater of something"?

Let's take music for example. Someone says, "Hey! I like Johnny Cash!". The person who just doesn't like it as much, may even hate it will only say. "They're not my favorite" Then if asked why they will give their reasons. Now if they're a Hater, they will not only tell you that they don't like him...but they will also give every single reason why they don't and explain that you are a bad person for liking his music.

What it comes down to I suppose is the intensity of the discussion and the intent for hating them.

I can respect your opinion if you have logical reasons for not liking something.....but if your only reason is "It's stupid" or "it sounds dumb" or some other mud slinging phrase.....I might lose my cool......which isn't...cool....

People can have differing opinions of something and still be friends. Me and my brotha Andrew Woodruff have had a heated debate on who would win a fight between Gandalf and Aslan (Me for the mighty lion and him for the mighty wizard), yet we have both agreed to disagree because we realize that we have differing opinions on this subject. Furthermore we also realize that it's kind of ridiculous to argue over.....

For a while I have tried to not be the said "hater". In an attempt to get rid of the hater label that I have acquired on a couple things, I have decided to open my mind to it.

That includes the ridiculous videos of Balloon Shop (which although they are still weird, they now have a special place in my heart), Country Music (don't mind the accent too much now), and the album "Flamingo" by Brandon Flowers (Magdalena is one of my favorite songs now)

I will however forever be a hater of Justin Bieber and other bad music (that includes boy bands and Rebecca Black)

The Man Upon the Road

Look at that man upon the road

His hair all messed and greasy

If he had only been a good man

his life would be quite easy.

His jacket has no sleeves

and his shoes they have no soles

he looks as if he bathed in mud

his tattered shirt has holes

He sits there on the corner

"God Bless" His sign does say

but no one ever notices

so he sits there everyday

Look at the man upon the road

his face is full of shadow

if he had been a better man

his life would not be hollow

but from the crowd, he hears a cry

A child lost and scared

he stands up and walks towards her

his eyes full of hope and care

'Take this coin', he told the girl

'and take it to the phone'

'call your folks and let them know

then they can take you home.'

He then gave the girl his quarter

the only thing he owned

and with a smile he showed her the dial

then went back to his corner home

The parents came and got their daughter

and the man asked for nothing more

he laid his head upon the stone

his blanket damp cardboard.

People asked, why would this man

sacrifice all he owned

to help a child who had lost their way

then return to be alone?

'Judge not that you be not judged'

came the answer to their hearts

'for while this man is strange and gruff

your souls are worlds apart'

'For though you may be happy

and comfortable with life

you do not know of sacrifice

to live beneath the knife'

'For while this man may look of fear

and live upon the street

he has in him a heart of gold

and a spirit kind and sweet.'

'In him is all the good

his soul is bright and fair

he gives what he will not receive

that is hope from one who cares.'

'Who is this man upon the street?

what evil made him fall?

The answer child is nothing

for he is greater than us all. '

Thinking Deep

Have you ever felt deep? Not actually thinking anything deep....you just feel deep. Like the next sentence you say could be quotable and change everybody's life?

It's strange though...when you're in this haze of deep feelingness....you can't actually think of anything deep. All you want to do is sit around.....listen to indie music....and use a lot of ellipses.....

What came first....the color orange....or the fruit orange. Which is named after the other?

Who came up with some words? Like..... avocado......that is a weird word.....

How come little dogs are so yappy.....do they have a Napoleonic complex or something?

What if Han Solo had a Twin?......then he wouldn't be solo.....

What if you traveled someplace 30 miles away and were traveling 30 mph....but got there in 55 min?

What if police dogs were chihuahuas?

Finals

Finals
they wipe your mind

The 10 types of Student

Since I'm doing this post for the first time in a long time I feel obligated to say "It's been a while blah blah blah"

Instead I'll just say "Dude....what's up?" ignore your answer because I can't hear you (unless you call or text me...that would be weird) then continue on with the post.

1) Diligent Student

To start things we have your average Diligent Student. They try and find a balance between healthy lifestyle and good education...getting....Their natural habitat is the library where they constantly have their heads down in books and only look up to scare you away from their table. They may think that they have everything balanced...but underneath lurks a stress beast just trying to get out.

Conversation with the Diligent Student
Me: Dude, want to hang out?
Them: Ya sure, let me just finish my bio packet.
Me: Cool

2) Slacker Student

The Slacker Student is the bane of a professors existence. They don't ever come to class. Ever. Some say that they don't exist because no one has ever seen them. Well there is a place you can see them....at the bottom of the testing center stairs. They don't care how, but they need to read the last 200 pages of their bio book before they go take a test. But hey! If it works for you, kudos!

Conversation with a Slacker Student
Me: Hey can you help me with the physics homework?
Them: What physics homework?
Me: The assignment he gave us after he blew up the balloons
Them: He blew up balloons?
Me: Ya, during class?
Them: We had class!?

3) Straight A Student

They are usually found at the professors offices and at TA labs. If they get an A- look out! they will pitch and moan about it until it is changed. If you do happen to see their paper before them, take it upon yourself to either warn everyone else about it OR just put a little line through the - to make it a +. Add a smiley face for good luck.

Conversation with a Straight A Student
Me: Have you seen the straight A student? I haven't seen him for a week
Them: Ya I don't know. He should probably reappear in a couple weeks after finals
Me: We have finals?...

4) Getting By Student

These students work hard. Maybe even harder than the regular student. The only problem is that they either don't like it, they don't care, or it has nothing to do with their major. A majority of these students are found in freshmen classes. It's not that they're dumb (that's a different student). It's just not their cup of herbal tea. 

Conversation with a Getting By Student
Them: We should do something totally awesome man!
Me: Don't you have a test tomorrow?
Them: Ya, Don't worry. I already studied
Me: Shouldn't you get some sleep?
Them: I'll be fine....hey.....were's the straight A student?

5) Out of State Student

There are a lot of students from out of state. What sets them apart from the students in this group? No one knows where they're from. Yes, it's cool that you're from Montana or Idaho or Canada or somewhere else that has a lot of snow.....I don't care. If I take you out to dinner or even manage to cook food without burning it, I don't want to hear about how your mom made this exact same thing only better and that you would rather have that. Be lucky I didn't burn the flippin' place down!

Conversation with an Out of State Studnet
Me: Dang it's cold today
Them: You think it's cold Utah Boy? I'm from Alaska, we only have two seasons. Winter and more winter.
Me: Dude, chill.....mehe, see what I did there?

6) Show-Off Student

Yes....we all know you can hacky sack. We all know that you can play the first three violin concertos by Vivaldi. We know you have an entire box of level 100 pokemon. Stop talking and let us speak. In fact...let the teacher speak....... Ask a question or two even.

Conversation with a Show-Off Student
Them: Ya, I know like three or four different versions of If you could hie to Kolob on the piano. No big deal. I'm also learning guitar. Want to hear me play?
(proceeds to play two chords over and over again)

7) Hipster Student
Go to any philosophy or humanities class and you will see the hipster student in their natural habitat. It's not that they're irritating....oh wait....they are. Half of the hipster students take those classes because they really do like to think and they really do understand. The other half just likes to learn different names that they can throw around at their friends then follow it up with the phrase, "you probably haven't heard of them".

Conversation with Hipster Student
Me: What class do you have next?
Them: Oh...you probably haven't heard of it...

8) RM Students
Dazed look in the eye? Obvious confusion on their face? Yes my friends...that is a very recent RM. That's really all that needs to be said. You can also tell who is an RM because their favorite pick-up line is "So I served my mission in __________" Girls be careful....they're on the prowl....

Conversation with RM Student
Me: Dude, you should ask her on a date
Them: I don't know....I haven't done this for two years
Me: Don't worry about it
Them: (Introducing themselves to girl) Hi, I'm Elder Smith. Can I make an appointment with you to go to a place and eat food?
Me:.....I should have made him flash cards....

9) That Student
Who is 'That Student'? They are the brilliant student that apparently never studies but manages to pass all of his classes with flying colors. They are masters of multitasking There are very few of these students left because in order to be this student you must sacrifice sleep. Something that no one wants to do. Sometimes though you can find them in the library late at night trying to avoid the people who kick you out.

Conversation with That Student
Me: Man, how do you do so good in all your classes?
Them: I just study a lot at night
Me: How do you stay awake?
Them: Don't worry about it.....

10) Oh gosh Student
These are the kids you worry about. How did they even make it? How do they even function?....oh well. Everyone is unique.

Conversation with the Oh gosh Student
Me: And that is how the law of gravity works
Them:......so......what you're saying is.....if I drop this pencil (drops it).....it will go down?....
Me:....oh gosh.....

Argument

Arguments
Some make sense.....other you just have to wonder

The Who, Paper Route, The Beatles, and Postal Service

These are some songs I've been listening to recently. They're pretty good.. Just sayin....

Man Points and Gentleman's points.

Every man since the beginning of time has carried around something very important. When a new boy is born into this world, they are given a man card.

What is the man card? I'm glad you asked

A man card is something that contains the total amount of man points that a man has. Some people have a goodly number in the positives such as David Tennant or Will Smith. Some people have negative like Justin Bieber or Prince. Some, such Clint Eastwood and Chuck Norris have so many man points that they ran out of positive numbers and they had to start counting in a different dimension.

But I digress

How does one gain man points?

Easy! Do something manly.

Did you build a bridge with your own bear (did that on purpose) hands? +100 man points

Did you tear down that bridge with a hammer? +100 more man points

Did you grow a mustache? + 50

Do you look good with it? + another 50

You can however go down.

Did you jump up and down in excitement when you saw a pony? -50

Did you say OMG in a context that wasn't making fun of people who say OMG? -50

Did you sing along to Justin Bieber? -50

Did you spend money to go to a Justin Bieber concert? Man card revoked

Now what about Gentleman's points?

Gentleman's points are the equivalent to the man points a girl gives out.

Did you give a girl flowers on a date? Man points
Did you give a girl flowers randomly? Gentleman point

Did you open the door for a girl? Gentleman point

Did you wear a suit and serenade her? Lots of gentleman points



Men....we must strive to keep these two cards filled up. Sometimes the Man points and Gentleman points may conflict. With that said....girls, give us a break if we act too goofy. We can't help it. We need man points.

I'm So Hipster that...

I'm so hipster.....

......my jeans are painted on

.....my ipod has the android symbol

.....that my vintage shirts are from the Victorian Era

.....that my shoes are just fabric wrapped around my foot

.....that I only have half a mustache

.....that my glasses have gravitational pull

.....that my favorite movie hasn't even come out yet

.....a recording of the wind chimes is on my ipod, just in case they hit it big

.....you probably haven't heard my name, it's really unknown and underground

.....I have a tattoo of Ernest Hemingway on my wrist

.....that I found deep made-up meaning in Twilight

....that I use a flashlight and water bottle for a lamp

....that I refer to The Beatles as The Quarrymen

.....I listen to an orange being blended and call in my new hit single

.....I eat the decorative leaves and say they have healing properties

.....My favorite color is reen. It's a combination red and green...you probably haven't seen it.

.....that I named my ukulele.

.....I changed my name to Dominic Mango

.....My favorite band is the lawnmower and leaf blower

.....by bicycle is hand pumped

.....my V-neck and Scarf are considered one piece of clothing

.....my beanie was tailor-made to not fit my head

You Might Be A Hipster If....


.....you only drink organic water

.....you have a pet armadillo

.....your V-neck goes to your belly button

.....your favorite superhero is Aqua-Man and you refer to him as Namor

.....you know that Aqua-Man and Namor are two different people

.....you smell bad but consider it your natural perfume

......your named is spelled in numbers

.....if someone asks if you like something you automatically think its an obscure band. (ex. 'do you like apple juice?'   'ya, I saw them at the Muse last week')

.....you don't like Arcade Fire anymore

......you can't say 'mainstream' without a condescending smirk

.....you think everything is about the human condition

.....if you are not reading this

.....if you read this and decided to try and correct me in the comments

Johnny Cash: What a Legend

Every once in a while, you here a song and think, "That should be my theme song". Those are the good songs that help you realize who you are.

But then there is another type of song. Not a song that makes you realize what kind of person you are, but what kind of person you want to be.

I have found that kind of song. Originally written and sung by Tom Petty. Covered by the legend Johnny Cash

If you aren't convinced the Johnny Cash is the ultimate boss, myth, legend, etc. etc. then you need to listen to him some more. This dude's awesome. For all those people who say, "Eh, he's country. He's got noting I'll like".....well, here's his cover of a Nine Inch Nails song (done better if you ask me)

 

Change

It is the inevitable force that cannot be stopped by mortal man. People have tried to avoid change, to prolong their childhood and extend their days of merriment. But the moment will come when you realize that the only way to live is to cast off the mask of youth and embrace the veneer of responsibility. Do not think that I am saying cast off everything, forsake that which is childish and pursue what is considered mature and grown-up. I am saying that we need to learn to balance. To accept that we are no longer young and that we have added responsibilities. I have realized that I need to grow up. That does not mean however that I am going to stop doing what makes me happy. I probably won't stop playing pokemon. I probably won't stop playing Ukulele or Guitar. I will even probably continue to play around with my sonic screwdriver, lightsaber, and Green Lantern Ring.

Growing up isn't the end of youth, it is the dawn of life. You be who you want to be. No one can ask any less of you.

Infomercialites

Infomercialites
Clever little buggers

Famous Last Words

I'm not saying last words as in the last words someone says before they die. I'm talking about the last words at the end of an epic movie. When you watch a great movie, what could possibly make it better? Oh I know....An awesome ending line!


"Even if we, the gods, are abandoned or forgotten, the stars will never fade, never. They will burn till the end of time."
- Clash of the Titans (1981)


"When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it. Always."
- Gandhi (1982) 


"As you wish"
- The Princess Bride (1987)


"I'm going to show them a world without you. A world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you."
- The Matrix (1999)


"Now we are free. I will see you again, but not yet. Not yet."
- Gladiator (2000)


"Whatever life holds in store for me, I will never forget these words: 'With great power comes great responsibility.' This is my gift. My curse. Who am I? I'm Spider-Man."
- Spider-Man (2002)

"You alone can make my song take flight. It's over now, the music of the night."
- The Phantom of the Opera (2004)


No one will ever forget that night and what it meant for this country. But I will never forget the man and what he meant to me. 
- V for Vendetta (2006)


"Everything you have seen is an illusion. It's a trick"
- The Illusionist (2006)


"And it is said the princess returned to her father's kingdom. That she reigned there with justice and a kind heart for many centuries. That she was loved by her people. And that she left behind small traces of her time on earth, visible only to those who know where to look."
- Pans Labyrinth (2006)

"...So we'll hunt him because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A dark knight"
- The Dark Knight (2008)


"I prefer Magneto"
- X-Men: First Class (2011)

I just think these lines are epic and some of the movies are pretty cool to.

The Sapphire Skies: Sinners Waltz

I'm living in a reality

That I made in a half dreamt dream

I tried to make perfection

But I'm still a far ways off

And you can ask, how was this done?

A trick of fancy a feat of fun?

I could try and reveal the answer

But I don't know how myself

For what demons lie behind green eyes

They're waiting for my soul to fly

And take me to reality

Where all my worries dwell

So lead me to the goblin king

Hide me from a heartless queen

A false hope understanding

All fancies fly on wings

So take me to a world of friction

Where hearts a line and fact meets fiction

Save me from this life

I am an elder son

And paint me with my velvet faults

And dance along, this sinners waltz

Is just a small comparison

To the hatred of the pure

I do not seek for retribution

I only ask for revolution

Fight against the judgers

For there's only one allowed

And Hide me from the world unfair

And take me into peaces lair

The world is ending soon

And I do not wish to stay

They paint me with my velvet faults

And make me dance a sinners waltz

But they are not my masters

They are not my judge

-The Sapphire Skies

V for Vendetta Introductory Monologue

I'm wishing I had done this for my Public Speaking class. It's clever and really cool.

The Only Verdict is Vengence...A Vendetta....

The Sapphire Skies: Sadness is a Friend of Mine

Sadness is a friend of mine

I have him hope, he gave me time

A bitter friend but yet he’s kind

Sympathizes with my mind

And I don’t care if he’s a ghost

He’s actually there when needed most

When heartbreak is the masters will

Sadness’s got some time to kill.

He held his hope I held my time

Sadness is a friend of mine.

Sadness is a friend of mine

He came to life when you left mine

What have I done to make you so unkind?

You don’t notice? That’s a lie.

I’ve paid my time to the devils son

He looked at me and started to sob

You had it all, then you threw it away

I'd never trade lives with you any day

I said, “My souls been broken, don’t you mind?”

Sadness is a friend of mine.

You broke my heart, then left me dry

I broke down and lost my mind

Insanity is now my home

Hatred is a common foe

And no one seems to even see

The broken hearted in the city

Come with me, you’ll never cry

Sadness is a friend of mine.

Sadness was a friend of mine

He understood and drank my wine

The bitter cup but now I'm fine

Flying high and chasing time

Yet I know he will return

When my heart again will yearn

I'll have to hide my crimsoned lies

From the girl with sapphire eyes

And too my heart I will remind

That sadness was a friend of mine.

-The Sapphire Skies

Welcome to the BYU Pokemon League

Yes, you have just graduated from High School. But now you have to go to the great big thing that is called "The Real World"....It might be dangerous. You're only a freshmen. But wait! You have the ability to do something that could help you out in this real world!....COLLEGE!

It's Dangerous out there. Here, choose one of these:

Fine Arts Major: Good at interpreting. They grow fast. A good beginner Major

Science Major: Good at observation: They grow slower, but worth it.

Business Major: Sturdy and reliable. Grow at normal rate..but room to expand!

Have you chosen? Good.

Now we start our journey. First you have to fight your rival. If you chose Fine Arts Major, you're rival chose a Science Major. If you chose a Science Major, he has chosen a Business Major and if you chose a business Major, you are fighting the Fine Arts Major.

In case any of you disagree, here is my logic
Science Major-----------Disproves, over analyzes, and using logic-------------defeats Fine Arts Major
Fine Arts Major----------uses beauty, abstract thinking, and pretty colors---------defeats Business Major
Business Major---------Argues, uses aggression and strong hotheadedness--------defeats Science Major


You face your first gym match.....general education. Some of the classes are easy to defeat while others just don't suit your desired major. But you have to defeat them.

What's This? 14-16 credits? Your Major is Evolving!!
Congratulations! Your...
Science Major is now a Biology Major
Fine Arts Major is now a Music Major
Business Major is now an Economics Major

Now you are fighting your next semester. Again, it is a gym where some of the subjects are suited to you but others aren't. But you no the drill so you probably got a couple more skills to fight them with.

Men!...and some Women (because you can choose to go on a mission)....you have been given a free skill set!...Language Training! What will this language training turn into? If you want, you can keep it the way it is and it will become a Western Humanities Major.
If exposed to Spain, Mexico, or any state side speaking mission, then it will become a Spanish Major
If exposed to Canada, France, then it will become a French Major
If exposed to Russia, Russian Major.
Etc. etc.

It you develop it and you love it, it will probably become something like a Spanish Literature Major or a French Humanities Major.

If you develop it and don't love it....it will probably run away....

Oh No! It's Team BYUSA!!! They all have and English or Performing Arts Major!!!! and they are trying to capture the Legendary Majors.....The Legendary Trio....The Physics Teaching Major, The Applied Physics Major, and The Astrophysics Major.

If you are lucky you can capture all three, there fore guaranteeing your graduation.

Wait! What is This? Your major is Evolving again!
Your Biology Major is now a Biochemistry Major!
Your Music Major is now a Performance Major!
Your Economics Major is now a Global Supply Chain Management Major

It's time to face the Elite Four and the Champion! Unlike your other gym battles, these are one on one duels of logic with each of these majors.

First: Philosophy Major. Seems easy to fight at first, but watch out! They have a strong attack!

Second: Chemical Engineering Major. They have strong logic, but they have one major hole in their attack and defense....The Performance Major would come in handy here.

Third: Genetics and Biotechnology Major. He is fairly well rounded and can attack on many fronts. Just be patient.

Fourth: Neuroscience Major. This will be your most difficult battle. Since the thing they study is the human brain, they will be able to parry and block most attacks. They are basically the psychics. The only way to beat them is to either let their sense of superiority take them down or resort to the thing that all psychics fear...physical attacks....

The Champion: What could possibly be so terrifying that it beat all the elite four? It is a Chemistry Major that teaches Organic Chemistry! Not only that......but he is an American Heritage TA!!!

If I were you, I would give up hope.

But Wait! You have captured the Three of the most powerful degrees (not as powerful as the champion, but combined....maybe) Simply use the Physics Trio and use the two most powerful attacks that every single major is weak to: The Theory of Relativity and Quantum Mechanics!!!

Congratulations, you have just beat the champion. Now you have the chance to catch the two legendary majors that supposedly created the world Particle and Theoretical Physics as well as the three legendary teaching Majors: English Teaching, Physical Education Teaching, and Elementary Ed.

And you know what the great thing about this league is? There are a limited number! There are other Leagues like the Harvard League, the Julliard League, even the UVU League, but they all have around the same majors. None of this 600 and some-odd crap.

Hope you enjoyed this.

(Note: I used stereotypes when I described Majors and stuff...don't be offended...I know plenty of people who don't fit any of the descriptions)

How cool is pokemon

By the time you reach college it's basically a religion. 

I a president really wants to win...

The Trick to Any Political Campaign
Give them stuff

Lookin' like a Gent

I am here to share my newest theory: The Barnabas Paradigm. 

It is named for Barnabas Stinson (a man of good taste except when it comes to morals) from the TV show "How I Met Your Mother". The theory itself is old as time. It states that a man becomes more attractive to the opposite gender when dressed up in a suit.

To even further the point, here is an experiment. If you saw me walking down the street randomly would you react differently if I was wearing this?

Compared to this?

Or even This.....

Lets be real, the suit is the obvious winner. The second one would be decent but it's just not that classy and that second one would be cool for a rock star...but you know who wore suits while rocking out? The Beatles and Buddy Holly...what gents....

So my brothas! You want to look good and impress the girls? There's only one thing to do...SUIT UP!!

Tears in heaven - Steven Tyler, Ozzy, Kelly Osbourne, etc

Facebook wouldn't let me post this song for some reason so I posted the original acoustic version of the song.
This is a version that has a whole bunch of famous people singing it for a cause.

Points of View

When you have a Cookie
The world is your enemy

Why Going to Live on the Moon Would fix Everything

There have been many problems in our world. War, pollution, natural disasters, politics, politicians, greed, paranoia, the list goes on. But the biggest problem...is the 1%.... Come on guys, it's obvious that the 1% is ruling the world and we just don't know about it. Except for me. That is why I have come up with a solution.

First we need to push forward all of our space race things to the top of the priorities list. That way in a couple years we can send people to space.

Next we start giving free tours of the moon to the lower class's. That way the 1% will get ticked off because the lower class is getting to see the marvels of the universe and all they can do is swim in their gold pool filled with money!

Then, after these tours have been going on for a while, we sneak one of our own guys into the senate and have his start telling people that we have built a city upon the moon. The rich people would freak out! They would say "We need to send the most important people we know!" so they will send the Queen of England and other important people. Then they will say "We need to send the most intelligent people!" So they send Bill Clinton and some more people they think are intelligent (Give them a break guys....it's a miracle they could even spell Bill's name right). Then they will compile a list of people they think should live on the moon.

After much debate, they will decide that maybe they should only sell tickets to live on the moon. Yet because of how expensive everything is, the tickets result in being very expensive.

That way, only the 1% are able to afford a ticket. After we take them to the moon we drop them of and leave them there. Since we didn't really build a city we will need to try and make it up to them so every week we will send a shuttle full of airplane peanuts and ramen.

After we have all of them gone we beg Canada for forgiveness because of all the jokes me make about them and let them absorb us into their country and instead of North America we are called North Canada.

Bon Jovi: The Circle

Everyone is familiar with the legen...(wait for it)...dary band Bon Jovi. Most of this fame comes from the 80s with their awesome songs "You give love a bad name" "Blaze of Glory" "Wanted Dead or Alive" and of course "Livin' on a Prayer"

But did you know they are still performing? Not only that but a while back they came out with a new album! After the "Lost Highway" album that made them sound almost like country, they came out with another album that reinstated their rock and roll power. "The Circle"

The songs on the album are good. You have the classic Bon Jovi style rock in songs like "Work for the Working man" "Thorn in my Side" and "Brokenpromise Land" as well as some more mellow but still rocking songs like "Happy Now" "Fast Cars" and "Superman Tonight"

Of all the songs on the album though, my favorite is the last song "Learn to love"

Dedicated to Bronwen and Stephy

These girls are fantastic
why are you reading this second line? Don't believe me? Just go talk to them and you will see :)

The 10 Types of Musicians

Music is Fantastic. It is said to be one of the most powerful forces on earth. So within the music world, there is a special place for those who can actually create music. Maybe not write it, but at least be able to play it. Here are the 10 different types of Musician.

1) Normal
They simply play music. They have a basic knowledge of composition and music theory and are able to play an instrument or two. They know how to appreciate good music and critic bad music. They usually are pretty open minded when in comes to bands but they know when something isn't good.

Conversation with a Normal Musician
Me: So what instruments do you play?
Them: I play the trombone but I'm learning guitar right now.
Me: That's cool. Is it hard?
Them: Not really, it's a lot like the violin.
Me:...right....

2) Indie
They can be identified by they're common catch-phrase: So mainstream... They never listen to anything anyone says because their music is obviously better than yours. Their only weakness is when you lock them in a room and start playing mainstream music.

Conversation with and Indie
Me: Dude, have you listened to the new Bon Jovi album?
Them: So mainstream
Me: Dude...it's way good
Them: Is it artistic and reference early 19th century philosophers? 
Me:......sure.......

3) Mainstream
Then are the exact opposite and greatest enemy to the Indie musician. All they listen to is mainstream music. They wouldn't recognize any older artists unless their song had been on one of VH1s greatest hits lists. They think that Nirvana is still alive and the bands they "discover" are all bands that have existed.

Conversation with a Mainstream
Them: Hey! I just discovered this great band!
Me: Sweet, who are they?
Them: I can't remember exactly but they have some awesome songs that I think you would like. Like this one called "Let it Be" and another called "Hey Jude". They sound pretty new...
Me: That's The Beatles. They've been around for a long time.
Them: Who?
Me: You know...John Lennon, Paul McCartney?
Them: Aren't they in our physics class?
Me:.....oh geez....

4) Wannabe's
As you might have noticed, Both the indie and the mainstream musicians didn't play any instruments. That is because they fit into one of three groups. The first being actual musicians that are possibly misguided, second are people that don't know how to play an instrument but can still enjoy music, then third...the wannabe. They play no instrument, but they pretend like they can. Much like the person who says that they're good at sports but they can't play because of an "injury" (just as a side note for those who know me, I actually do have an injury that makes it so I can't play some sports. I would also say that I am safe because I never was any good at the sports that I can't play anyway). It is either that or they play a really lame instrument that doesn't have any musical quality.

Conversation with Wannabe
Me: What was that sound?
Them: I was playing my Recordica
Me:.....What? What's that, it sounded terrible!
Them: It's a combination Recorder and Harmonica. I would play my cello but it's in the shop.

5) Rock n' Roller
These are usually guitarists that know how to play every single popular rock song (ie. sweet child of mine, living on a prayer, etc.) or a bass player that keeps on insisting that the bass is the most important part of the band (which it is). Unfortunately, they have no idea about what classical music is. They are known for not enjoying country and rap music.

Conversation with a Rock n' Roller
Me: Dude, you're way good
Them: Thanks man, I practice a lot
Me: Where you classically trained?
Them: Well I learned listening to Led Zeppelin
Me: What about Bach or Motzart. I think they have some guitar concertos.
Them: Who are they?...and what's a Concerto?.....

6) Actually Plays Really Well
These people are split into two different categories. The people that can play really well and you had no idea that they did and the people who play really well and EVERYONE knows that they can play. On one hand, the person that can play really well but doesn't usually play is more modest and will usually just play for fun when they're alone simply because they enjoy it. The other person is really good but in reality the only reason they practice is because they will soon have the chance to show off.

Conversation with Actually Plays Really Well
Me: Hey man, can I have a turn?
Them: Sure, just a sec though, a really cute girl's coming and I want her to see me play.
Me: You mean Stella? She just left...
Them:.....I'll give you 20 bucks if you get her back in here.
Me: Alright, I'll just tell her that they brought out a second birthday cake
Them: Thanks Bro.

7) Pretends to Play
Much like the Wannabe, they talk a lot about playing an instrument. The difference between the two is that these people don't actually know how to play anything. Even the made-up instruments would give them trouble. Even instruments that they invented would be hard. Instead of just admitting that music wasn't their thing, they pretend like they can play, even though in actuality they have no idea how.

Conversation with Pretends to Play
Me: Dude, nice guitar case! Do you play?
Them: Sort of. I'm still learning notes and chords but I'm already pretty good!
Me: Cool, I know how to play, mind if I?
Them: Well....you see...the problem is that I don't actually have the guitar with me....
Me:....then what's in the guitar case?
Them: Three ham sandwiches, five packs of ramen and a box of candy bars......
Me:So it's a lunchbox?

8) Oldies
They listen only to the old stuff. Then will never admit to liking any music past the 80s and even then it's limited. The enjoy the listening from the 70s, 60s, and even earlier. Big band is their thing. The instrument that they play is probably something like the sax or the trumpet. Their usually really laid back because that's the way their music is.

Conversation with the Oldies
Them: Ah...I just love listening to the Mama's and Papas.
Me: I like them to. Their so mellow. My dad showed them to me.
Them: I liked them first. I discovered them.
Me: Dude......no you didn't

9) Classical
These people are the exact opposite of the chilled out oldies. These are the intense practicers and analyzers of music. They listen to the really old stuff like Mozart and Bach. They are also really good when it comes to playing an instrument. Usually proteges. They pride themselves with thinking that they know more about music (classical or not)....they don't....

Conversation with the Classical
Them:Have you ever listened to the genius of Mozart?
Me: Ya, I like his stuff. But I prefer Dvorak.
Them: Psh.....if you're into that mainstream stuff....

10) The 80s
They've got it all. They play guitar really well, they've got big hair. They know great music when they hear it. Besides that, they know about the greatest love songs, rock anthem songs, and best....everything....

Conversation with The 80s
....Lets be real....the conversation would be too awesome.

The Ghost

The Ghost
All ghosts wear top hats

My Revelation

I've been doing a dangerous thing. Thinking. Not only that, but I have also been tired and sick while thinking. It seems that in those moments, the world just connects and you can understand everything but when you finally become sane again everything just crumbles.

But this is something that I have noticed. I call it The Rueland Hypothesis (I would call it the Sherman Paradox but I'm saving that name for something more awesome.)

To illustrate The The Rueland Hypothesis, I will tell a story.

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Asher (I won't say his real name and no it's not me. The person Asher is now married). He had met this girl who we shall call Jenny. The two became really close friends. After a while, Asher started to like Jenny, but Jenny was dating some other dude that was also a really cool guy. Asher was faced with a choice. He could either tell Jenny how he felt and risk losing her friendship or remain silent because he knew that she was happy.

So what did he do? He remained silent.

Why?

Because he didn't want to risk losing her. It was better to live with heartbreak and see her happy then to never see her smile or hear her laugh again. He knew that he would probably lose his mind, but it was worth losing part of it rather than losing all of it by losing her.

You might be saying "Why didn't he just tell her? That pansy!" but let me tell you a secret, he knew that this would happen because it had happened to him before. He had fallen for a girl and risked telling her and ended up losing her, and he wouldn't let that happen again.

Don't worry though. The story ends happy. My friend Asher ended going on a mission. When he got back he met the girl of his dreams that was as crazy about him as he was about her. And the girl? He never told me that part of the story. Just the life lesson.

But there is something I learned from all this. And what I learned I called the Rueland Hypothesis. The Hypothesis that sometimes it's better to wait for the right person to com. To be a Ted Mosbey and live each day knowing that the perfect person is out there.

For what is love but the infection that causes man's heart's to grow weak and drive them to madness?

Angsty? Probably...but don't worry about it mates. Things seem so much deeper when you're tired and in truth I probably won't remember writing this....but who knows! Seems like a good idea at the moment.

Friend Zone's got an up side

Friend-Zone's got an upside!
The only bummer is that all the songs are angst

Queen- We Will Rock You

I've already done a queen video but this version of the song was awesome

Tis True

Boys Vs. Girls when it comes to fashion
Guys are easier to please

Missions and Stuff

This is going to be much like my ramblings post but this time it has more meaning.

Why? Because I am going on an LDS Mission! I am going to the New York, New York North Mission. I will be teaching and preaching the gospel in Spanish. I will be entering the Provo MTC on May 2.

I also want to shout out to my other friends who have there mission calls.

Ryan Tirell going to the Thailand, Bangkok mission. Speaking Thai and he leaves on May 30.
Andrew Woodruff going to the Coritiba, Brazil Mission. Speaking Portuguese and leaving on May 15
and Matt Woodruff going to San Paulo South, Brazil Mission. Also Speaking Portuguese and also leaving May 15.

Now as I think about my mission I can't help but feel overwhelmed with happiness. There are a couple things that come to mind. Besides the awesomeness of serving a mission there are also some added perks.

1) When I get back I have an entire season of Doctor Who to watch. No Waiting for episodes.

2) Movies I want to see will have already come out (ie. The Hobbit part 1 & 2, Avengers, Spider-Man, Superman, Yellow Submarine etc)

3) My early departure means that all of my friends farewells are staggered. On the downside I don't get to go to theirs. On the upside I get to go to their homecomings.

4) This was recently brought to my attention, but since I get home before a lot of people (even if it is by a couple weeks) I get a head start in the dating scene (that's a weird way of saying it)

Besides that, the place I'm going has some fantastic places. The Guggenheim, Ground Zero, Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty, Woodstock, Central Park, The Bronx, Harlem, etc.

I'm really excited about going on a mission as you can probably guess. It will probably be my clieche best two years :)

I've Just Seen a Face

You guys probably clicked on this expecting to read a confession of love about someone. Nope (Chuck Testa) that is for later on in my life.

This is about a song

According to some, this is a "cute" song. I just know that this is a good song. And to make it better, it's by The Beatles.

I've just seen a face I can't forget the time or place where we just met.

She's just the girl for me and I want all the world to see we met.

na na na na na na

Had it been another day, I might have looked the other way

and I would have never been aware, but as it is I'll dream of her tonight

na na na na na na

(The "na na"s seemed appropriate)

This is the version from Across the Universe. It's a favorite.

Being a Magician

It's all in the beard
Otherwise you're just a normal dude with a box

I Wanna Be The One and the Ghost of Tom Joad

This is a song by an awesome band called Fun. Of all the songs this is my favorite. Why? because to me the song is saying that no matter what happens the person will always be there to make them feel better.

For everything you've lost and all you'll over come

I wanna be the one to put it in a song

take every single tear for all the world to hear

I wanna be the one to put it in a song 

and make it last forever

Clever comes in truth when truth begets the past

It sends its call out to the moon

And the moon can see the beauty that surrounds your heart as it pounds

It starts to beat, inspiring me, until I make a sound.

Now you have a double feature. This is a song that not many people liked when we heard it in Mrs. VanOrdens Class. I thought it was cool because it made so many references to the book "Grapes of Wrath". The last verse is the coolest part.

Now Tom said "Mom, wherever there's a cop beatin' a guy 
Wherever a hungry newborn baby cries 
Where there's a fight 'gainst the blood and hatred in the air 
Look for me Mom I'll be there 
Wherever there's somebody fightin' for a place to stand 
Or decent job or a helpin' hand 
Wherever somebody's strugglin' to be free 
Look in their eyes Mom you'll see me." 

Well the highway is alive tonight 
But nobody's kiddin' nobody about where it goes 
I'm sittin' down here in the campfire light 
With the ghost of old Tom Joad.

How to be a Hipniky

What is a Hipniky you might as. Well the answer is simple, it is a person that has the qualities of a Hipster, a Beatnik, and a Hippy. As I will explain however, you have to have certain characteristics to be considered a hipniky. If you have a different combination then you could end up being a Beppyster or even worse...a Yippster.

First is your clothing. At a glace you would think it was Hipster clothing but on careful analysis you will notice that it is slightly off. For instance, instead of skinny jeans, mustache, and undersized jacket (although some have been known to wear them); you have the Bell-bottom style pants of the hippy, the neatly trimmed (but not too long) Mustache and goatee of the beatnik, and depending on your style either the small jacket of the hipster, the vest of the hippy, or the scarf and trench of the beatnik. Of course all these styles can go between the different groups but you need to have the certain style. For example: A hippy vest will be smaller, unclasped and will probably have tassels and beads. A Beatniks vest would be black and classy, while a Hipsters vest would probably be an old cut-up jacket. V necks and vintage shirts are allowed always.

Hair is important. It is mostly a combination of the Hippy and the Hipster. It isn't too long, but long enough that you can still head bang and still look cool. Don't try and wear headbands, that just restricts your hair. You need to make it so that it can fly in the breeze.

Also important: Glasses. It doesn't matter what type or how big. The only thing that matters is that they have visible rims that go all the way around. It's also good to get glasses that aren't normally worn, like half moon, harry potter style, coke bottle, etc.

Now the vernacular is tricky. You have to use phrases that used by both the Beatniks and the Hippies. Say Hippy things like "Dude" or "The Man" or my favorites "Groovy" and "Far Out". Then to incorporate beatnik things start comparing huge events or important people and companies to everyday things. If you get it to rhyme then you get karma points. Also refer to almost everyone as "man" and if something surprises you, don't start freaking out about it. Simply lean back slightly, widen your eyes, and softly say "Whoa...."

Now for the most important part. Attitude. Especially towards music. You are allowed to listen to stuff that's mainsteam but you must also make fun of it. You must combine all three of the characteristics when listening to this music. Like the hippy, you can listen to current music (as they did back in the 60s and 70s) while also listening to the music from 60s and 70s and even 80s. 90s is tabooed....sorry. To incorporated the beatnik, it doesn't matter what you listen to, it matters how much you know about what you're listening to. While listening to a song you have to start calling out random facts about the band and you usually know all the names of the members of the band. Lastly, to add the hipster touches. You have to have indie music on your Ipod. Remember how I said that the 90s is tabooed? This is why. Up till the 90s, there was some pretty awesome music. Then in the 90s things just got weird. True there are some good songs and a couple good bands but not to the extent of the 80s. Another thing is that by the 80s, rock and roll had matured from its humble roots of folk, jazz, and big band. Growing up too be Alternative, Techno, New Wave, Glam Rock, Arena Rock, and Hard Rock. However, in the 90s, it was the awkward change from rock to punk, goth, screamo, metal. It eventually got to be matured...but it was just weird during that time. (That's just my opinion. Having opinions like this are important to being a hipniky.)

Lets get real for a moment though. In the end, it doesn't matter what you are on the outside. In the end, the only thing that matters is who you are on the inside. In the end we're not hippies, yippies, yuppies, hipsters, beatniks, jocks, nerds, geeks, etc. In the end, we aren't a label, we are children of God

There is a breaking point

There's a point when you need to stick to your guns

Wind of Change Give it a Listen.

Take me to the magic of the moment

On a glory night

Where the children of tomorrow share their dreams

With you and me

Take me to the magic of the moment

On a glory night

Where the children of tomorrow dream away

In the wind of change

Texting: How to interpret and understand a text

Ever read a text and thought "What does this mean"?

Well worry no more because I have come up with a way to understand what people are saying behind all their smiley faces and acronyms. 

Lets start with the most basic: Emoticons

Now if you send a text asking how someone is and get the response "I'm doing great" you have nothing to worry about because they are probably telling the truth. However if you add an emoticon the meaning all of the sudden changes.

What They Type....................................................................What They Mean

I'm doing great :)................................................................I'm Having a great day!

I'm doing great :D..............................................................I'M REALLY EXCITED!!

I'm doing great :/...................................................................It's an ok day I guess

I'm doing great :(....................................................................Bazinga! No I'm not

I'm doing great B)....................................................I'm doing great because I've got sunglasses

There are several different emoticons but these are the most common. Once in a while you might get a :O or a o_O or something. The first one usually means that they are surprised while the other one means that one eye is now bigger than there other and that they probably should see a doctor or something.

Next we move onto punctuation. Punctuation can be very difficult to decipher but if you have patience then you too can figure it out. For this example we will use the common "I'm fine" text

What They Type..............................................................................What They Mean

I'm Fine...................................................................................................I'm Fine
I'm fine!.......................................................................................I'm Fine, stop bugging me
I'm Fine?.................................................................................I think I'm fine or I'm fine...duh!
I'm Fine.  ........................................................................................I'm fine PERIOD
I'm fine/ ..........................................................................Their finger just slipped. They're really fine

Besides punctuation and emoticons there are also acronyms. These can sometimes just add to the confusion of a text. Why? because some of them have double meanings. So instead of using the regular acronyms we should make some that are actually true

LOL (laughing out Loud) becomes LQTM (Laughing Quietly To Myself).
Note: That is unless you are actually laughing out loud. In that case then....cool....

Example
Them: YOU"RE SOOO FUNNY LOL
vs.
Them: You're So Funny LQTM

FML (F*** My Life) becomes IWA (I Want Attention) or IAP (I Am Pathetic)
Note: No ones life is that bad. Suck it up!

Example
Them: My taco had no meat FML
vs.
Them: My taco had no meat IAP

TGIF (Thank Goodness It's Friday) becomes IF (I'M FREE!)

Example
Them: TGIF!
vs.
Them: IF!!

IDK (I Don' Know) becomes IDC (I Don't Care)

Example
Them: What should we do IDK what to do
vs.
Them: What should we do IDC what we do

JK (just kidding) becomes ICTWOJK (In Case That Was Offensive Just Kidding)

Example
You're Fat haha JK
vs.
You're Fat haha ICTWOJK

OMG (Oh My Gosh) becomes STFD (Shut the Front Door)
Note: I just changed it because OMG is annoying.

Lets be real...this doesn't need an example. It's just cool

K becomes
Note: that's right....we just get rid of it

WTF (What the Freak) becomes D (Dude...)
Note: You have to day "Dude" with a tone of "why did you do that"

This is the same as OMG

TTYL (Talk To You Later) becomes ITT (I'll Text Tomorrow or I'll Text Tonight or I'm The Terminator)

Example
I have a secret but I'll TTYL
vs.
I have a secret but ITT

Besides those here are some recommended Acronyms that are more fun

YMMTMIJWCMFS (You make me the maddest, I just want to change my Facebook status)

TWTW (That was totally wicked)

TGIC (That Girl I Cute)

ITI (I'll Tweet It!)- use as a threat

Finally we have the bane of every text message. The Ellipses. Narrowing it down they have about 6 different meanings depending on the context

Awkward Pause:
I like toast....

You're Weird:
Whatever you say....

They're 'thinking':
......why do you say that.....

Dramatic Pause:
I like.....toast......

Something's Wrong:
I'm ok....

They're just being annoying:
I....can't.....understand your...message..translate it.........k.

So let's now test your skills. Here is a text message that you must decipher. Good Luck

Them: Hi! Do you have the homework from today? I forgot it.... :D
If you can send it back that would be gr8 K :D

Them: Why arent U responding.....?

TRANSLATION
Them: HELLO FRIEND! I forgot the homework (awkward pause) Isn't that funny?
If you can send it that would be gr and the number 8. I'm really happy!

Them: Do you hate me (something's wrong)(awkward pause) oh that that's a question(another awkward pause)

There you have it. You can now read any text message with little or some difficulty.
You're welcome






















the word is bazinga