Welcome to the readers sheet for the Fourth annual Provo Pentathlon. The event is much like a normal Triathlon with a few minor tweaks to give it what we feel is a more realist and less stressful time. The main events are as follows: Run, Bike, Swim. The other two events are combined with the Bike portion and the Swim portion.
To begin, you will run a 5k. Some of you will find this simple as you have been training for some time now...The rest of you will be wishing you were dead by the end of the second mile. There will be water stations along the course. However, keep in mind that you can not stop and will have to grab the cup out of one of our volunteers hands. If you manage to only get 3 drops of water total...consider yourself lucky.
The second event is the bike. You will be biking 10 miles all up hill and possibly in the rain. When (not if) your bike breaks down, you have just started the third event...bike repair. You will be asked to properly show how to fix your bike if:
a) The tire pops
b)The chain falls off
or c) The bike spontaneously combusted.
You are allowed to use whatever methods necessary, but keep in mind, fire extinguishers are not readily available in the forest.
The Fourth and Fifth event are as follows. Getting into your wetsuit, swimming five miles....up hill, then getting out of your wetsuit. For those athletes who thought they were so clever for not bringing a wetsuit, don't worry. We have devised a test that is almost equally as painful and humiliating. You will be asked to swim through a tank of hungry piranha while wearing clown make-up. We considered having you dress completely up as a clown....but we didn't want you to go through as much pain as the wetsuit wearers.
We wish all of you the best of luck. Not only luck in the race, but also luck in finding the finish line that was hidden by the creators of Where's Waldo.
Have Fun!
