Man Points and Gentleman's points.

Every man since the beginning of time has carried around something very important. When a new boy is born into this world, they are given a man card.

What is the man card? I'm glad you asked

A man card is something that contains the total amount of man points that a man has. Some people have a goodly number in the positives such as David Tennant or Will Smith. Some people have negative like Justin Bieber or Prince. Some, such Clint Eastwood and Chuck Norris have so many man points that they ran out of positive numbers and they had to start counting in a different dimension.

But I digress

How does one gain man points?

Easy! Do something manly.

Did you build a bridge with your own bear (did that on purpose) hands? +100 man points

Did you tear down that bridge with a hammer? +100 more man points

Did you grow a mustache? + 50

Do you look good with it? + another 50

You can however go down.

Did you jump up and down in excitement when you saw a pony? -50

Did you say OMG in a context that wasn't making fun of people who say OMG? -50

Did you sing along to Justin Bieber? -50

Did you spend money to go to a Justin Bieber concert? Man card revoked

Now what about Gentleman's points?

Gentleman's points are the equivalent to the man points a girl gives out.

Did you give a girl flowers on a date? Man points
Did you give a girl flowers randomly? Gentleman point

Did you open the door for a girl? Gentleman point

Did you wear a suit and serenade her? Lots of gentleman points



Men....we must strive to keep these two cards filled up. Sometimes the Man points and Gentleman points may conflict. With that said....girls, give us a break if we act too goofy. We can't help it. We need man points.

I'm So Hipster that...

I'm so hipster.....

......my jeans are painted on

.....my ipod has the android symbol

.....that my vintage shirts are from the Victorian Era

.....that my shoes are just fabric wrapped around my foot

.....that I only have half a mustache

.....that my glasses have gravitational pull

.....that my favorite movie hasn't even come out yet

.....a recording of the wind chimes is on my ipod, just in case they hit it big

.....you probably haven't heard my name, it's really unknown and underground

.....I have a tattoo of Ernest Hemingway on my wrist

.....that I found deep made-up meaning in Twilight

....that I use a flashlight and water bottle for a lamp

....that I refer to The Beatles as The Quarrymen

.....I listen to an orange being blended and call in my new hit single

.....I eat the decorative leaves and say they have healing properties

.....My favorite color is reen. It's a combination red and green...you probably haven't seen it.

.....that I named my ukulele.

.....I changed my name to Dominic Mango

.....My favorite band is the lawnmower and leaf blower

.....by bicycle is hand pumped

.....my V-neck and Scarf are considered one piece of clothing

.....my beanie was tailor-made to not fit my head

You Might Be A Hipster If....


.....you only drink organic water

.....you have a pet armadillo

.....your V-neck goes to your belly button

.....your favorite superhero is Aqua-Man and you refer to him as Namor

.....you know that Aqua-Man and Namor are two different people

.....you smell bad but consider it your natural perfume

......your named is spelled in numbers

.....if someone asks if you like something you automatically think its an obscure band. (ex. 'do you like apple juice?'   'ya, I saw them at the Muse last week')

.....you don't like Arcade Fire anymore

......you can't say 'mainstream' without a condescending smirk

.....you think everything is about the human condition

.....if you are not reading this

.....if you read this and decided to try and correct me in the comments

Johnny Cash: What a Legend

Every once in a while, you here a song and think, "That should be my theme song". Those are the good songs that help you realize who you are.

But then there is another type of song. Not a song that makes you realize what kind of person you are, but what kind of person you want to be.

I have found that kind of song. Originally written and sung by Tom Petty. Covered by the legend Johnny Cash

If you aren't convinced the Johnny Cash is the ultimate boss, myth, legend, etc. etc. then you need to listen to him some more. This dude's awesome. For all those people who say, "Eh, he's country. He's got noting I'll like".....well, here's his cover of a Nine Inch Nails song (done better if you ask me)

 

Change

It is the inevitable force that cannot be stopped by mortal man. People have tried to avoid change, to prolong their childhood and extend their days of merriment. But the moment will come when you realize that the only way to live is to cast off the mask of youth and embrace the veneer of responsibility. Do not think that I am saying cast off everything, forsake that which is childish and pursue what is considered mature and grown-up. I am saying that we need to learn to balance. To accept that we are no longer young and that we have added responsibilities. I have realized that I need to grow up. That does not mean however that I am going to stop doing what makes me happy. I probably won't stop playing pokemon. I probably won't stop playing Ukulele or Guitar. I will even probably continue to play around with my sonic screwdriver, lightsaber, and Green Lantern Ring.

Growing up isn't the end of youth, it is the dawn of life. You be who you want to be. No one can ask any less of you.

Infomercialites

Infomercialites
Clever little buggers

Famous Last Words

I'm not saying last words as in the last words someone says before they die. I'm talking about the last words at the end of an epic movie. When you watch a great movie, what could possibly make it better? Oh I know....An awesome ending line!


"Even if we, the gods, are abandoned or forgotten, the stars will never fade, never. They will burn till the end of time."
- Clash of the Titans (1981)


"When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it. Always."
- Gandhi (1982) 


"As you wish"
- The Princess Bride (1987)


"I'm going to show them a world without you. A world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you."
- The Matrix (1999)


"Now we are free. I will see you again, but not yet. Not yet."
- Gladiator (2000)


"Whatever life holds in store for me, I will never forget these words: 'With great power comes great responsibility.' This is my gift. My curse. Who am I? I'm Spider-Man."
- Spider-Man (2002)

"You alone can make my song take flight. It's over now, the music of the night."
- The Phantom of the Opera (2004)


No one will ever forget that night and what it meant for this country. But I will never forget the man and what he meant to me. 
- V for Vendetta (2006)


"Everything you have seen is an illusion. It's a trick"
- The Illusionist (2006)


"And it is said the princess returned to her father's kingdom. That she reigned there with justice and a kind heart for many centuries. That she was loved by her people. And that she left behind small traces of her time on earth, visible only to those who know where to look."
- Pans Labyrinth (2006)

"...So we'll hunt him because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A dark knight"
- The Dark Knight (2008)


"I prefer Magneto"
- X-Men: First Class (2011)

I just think these lines are epic and some of the movies are pretty cool to.

The Sapphire Skies: Sinners Waltz

I'm living in a reality

That I made in a half dreamt dream

I tried to make perfection

But I'm still a far ways off

And you can ask, how was this done?

A trick of fancy a feat of fun?

I could try and reveal the answer

But I don't know how myself

For what demons lie behind green eyes

They're waiting for my soul to fly

And take me to reality

Where all my worries dwell

So lead me to the goblin king

Hide me from a heartless queen

A false hope understanding

All fancies fly on wings

So take me to a world of friction

Where hearts a line and fact meets fiction

Save me from this life

I am an elder son

And paint me with my velvet faults

And dance along, this sinners waltz

Is just a small comparison

To the hatred of the pure

I do not seek for retribution

I only ask for revolution

Fight against the judgers

For there's only one allowed

And Hide me from the world unfair

And take me into peaces lair

The world is ending soon

And I do not wish to stay

They paint me with my velvet faults

And make me dance a sinners waltz

But they are not my masters

They are not my judge

-The Sapphire Skies

V for Vendetta Introductory Monologue

I'm wishing I had done this for my Public Speaking class. It's clever and really cool.

The Only Verdict is Vengence...A Vendetta....

The Sapphire Skies: Sadness is a Friend of Mine

Sadness is a friend of mine

I have him hope, he gave me time

A bitter friend but yet he’s kind

Sympathizes with my mind

And I don’t care if he’s a ghost

He’s actually there when needed most

When heartbreak is the masters will

Sadness’s got some time to kill.

He held his hope I held my time

Sadness is a friend of mine.

Sadness is a friend of mine

He came to life when you left mine

What have I done to make you so unkind?

You don’t notice? That’s a lie.

I’ve paid my time to the devils son

He looked at me and started to sob

You had it all, then you threw it away

I'd never trade lives with you any day

I said, “My souls been broken, don’t you mind?”

Sadness is a friend of mine.

You broke my heart, then left me dry

I broke down and lost my mind

Insanity is now my home

Hatred is a common foe

And no one seems to even see

The broken hearted in the city

Come with me, you’ll never cry

Sadness is a friend of mine.

Sadness was a friend of mine

He understood and drank my wine

The bitter cup but now I'm fine

Flying high and chasing time

Yet I know he will return

When my heart again will yearn

I'll have to hide my crimsoned lies

From the girl with sapphire eyes

And too my heart I will remind

That sadness was a friend of mine.

-The Sapphire Skies

Welcome to the BYU Pokemon League

Yes, you have just graduated from High School. But now you have to go to the great big thing that is called "The Real World"....It might be dangerous. You're only a freshmen. But wait! You have the ability to do something that could help you out in this real world!....COLLEGE!

It's Dangerous out there. Here, choose one of these:

Fine Arts Major: Good at interpreting. They grow fast. A good beginner Major

Science Major: Good at observation: They grow slower, but worth it.

Business Major: Sturdy and reliable. Grow at normal rate..but room to expand!

Have you chosen? Good.

Now we start our journey. First you have to fight your rival. If you chose Fine Arts Major, you're rival chose a Science Major. If you chose a Science Major, he has chosen a Business Major and if you chose a business Major, you are fighting the Fine Arts Major.

In case any of you disagree, here is my logic
Science Major-----------Disproves, over analyzes, and using logic-------------defeats Fine Arts Major
Fine Arts Major----------uses beauty, abstract thinking, and pretty colors---------defeats Business Major
Business Major---------Argues, uses aggression and strong hotheadedness--------defeats Science Major


You face your first gym match.....general education. Some of the classes are easy to defeat while others just don't suit your desired major. But you have to defeat them.

What's This? 14-16 credits? Your Major is Evolving!!
Congratulations! Your...
Science Major is now a Biology Major
Fine Arts Major is now a Music Major
Business Major is now an Economics Major

Now you are fighting your next semester. Again, it is a gym where some of the subjects are suited to you but others aren't. But you no the drill so you probably got a couple more skills to fight them with.

Men!...and some Women (because you can choose to go on a mission)....you have been given a free skill set!...Language Training! What will this language training turn into? If you want, you can keep it the way it is and it will become a Western Humanities Major.
If exposed to Spain, Mexico, or any state side speaking mission, then it will become a Spanish Major
If exposed to Canada, France, then it will become a French Major
If exposed to Russia, Russian Major.
Etc. etc.

It you develop it and you love it, it will probably become something like a Spanish Literature Major or a French Humanities Major.

If you develop it and don't love it....it will probably run away....

Oh No! It's Team BYUSA!!! They all have and English or Performing Arts Major!!!! and they are trying to capture the Legendary Majors.....The Legendary Trio....The Physics Teaching Major, The Applied Physics Major, and The Astrophysics Major.

If you are lucky you can capture all three, there fore guaranteeing your graduation.

Wait! What is This? Your major is Evolving again!
Your Biology Major is now a Biochemistry Major!
Your Music Major is now a Performance Major!
Your Economics Major is now a Global Supply Chain Management Major

It's time to face the Elite Four and the Champion! Unlike your other gym battles, these are one on one duels of logic with each of these majors.

First: Philosophy Major. Seems easy to fight at first, but watch out! They have a strong attack!

Second: Chemical Engineering Major. They have strong logic, but they have one major hole in their attack and defense....The Performance Major would come in handy here.

Third: Genetics and Biotechnology Major. He is fairly well rounded and can attack on many fronts. Just be patient.

Fourth: Neuroscience Major. This will be your most difficult battle. Since the thing they study is the human brain, they will be able to parry and block most attacks. They are basically the psychics. The only way to beat them is to either let their sense of superiority take them down or resort to the thing that all psychics fear...physical attacks....

The Champion: What could possibly be so terrifying that it beat all the elite four? It is a Chemistry Major that teaches Organic Chemistry! Not only that......but he is an American Heritage TA!!!

If I were you, I would give up hope.

But Wait! You have captured the Three of the most powerful degrees (not as powerful as the champion, but combined....maybe) Simply use the Physics Trio and use the two most powerful attacks that every single major is weak to: The Theory of Relativity and Quantum Mechanics!!!

Congratulations, you have just beat the champion. Now you have the chance to catch the two legendary majors that supposedly created the world Particle and Theoretical Physics as well as the three legendary teaching Majors: English Teaching, Physical Education Teaching, and Elementary Ed.

And you know what the great thing about this league is? There are a limited number! There are other Leagues like the Harvard League, the Julliard League, even the UVU League, but they all have around the same majors. None of this 600 and some-odd crap.

Hope you enjoyed this.

(Note: I used stereotypes when I described Majors and stuff...don't be offended...I know plenty of people who don't fit any of the descriptions)

How cool is pokemon

By the time you reach college it's basically a religion. 

I a president really wants to win...

The Trick to Any Political Campaign
Give them stuff

Lookin' like a Gent

I am here to share my newest theory: The Barnabas Paradigm. 

It is named for Barnabas Stinson (a man of good taste except when it comes to morals) from the TV show "How I Met Your Mother". The theory itself is old as time. It states that a man becomes more attractive to the opposite gender when dressed up in a suit.

To even further the point, here is an experiment. If you saw me walking down the street randomly would you react differently if I was wearing this?

Compared to this?

Or even This.....

Lets be real, the suit is the obvious winner. The second one would be decent but it's just not that classy and that second one would be cool for a rock star...but you know who wore suits while rocking out? The Beatles and Buddy Holly...what gents....

So my brothas! You want to look good and impress the girls? There's only one thing to do...SUIT UP!!