1) The first and most abundant type of texter is the "Normal Texter" This could really be anyone, usually a friend or significant other. When they text, they usually text in such a fashion that if you were to read them out loud it would be as if you were actually talking to him/her. However, this type of texter is the most susceptible to corruption from any or all of the other groups.
Normal Text Conversation:
Me: Hey! What's up?
Them: Nothing much, just chillin' How was school?
Me: It was decent, I'd of rather stayed home.
Them: haha, I know how you feel
Me: Wanna meet up someplace?
Them: Sure, see you in 5.
2) The next type of texter is the "minimum amount of info" texter. These people, as their name describes, are usually the ones that text the least amount of info possible. Almost all of us have this type of texter in us, but it usually only comes out when we're doing something important like school...or avoiding.... According to a recent poll that is entirely ficticious, this group is the main cause of broken phones because usually the recipient will throw it out a window or on the ground out of frustration. It is also possible that they also just don't want to talk to you.
Minimum Info Conversation
You: What's up?
Them: Nothing.
You: Really? You're not doing anything?
Them: yep
You: Wow, boring. What about school?
Them: It's good
You:...Care to expound?
Them: nope
You: K....nothing?...Really?
Them: Yep
You: You need a life.
Them: Ya. I'm gunna go do homework...
You: SO YOU WERE DOING SOMETHING!!!!!
3) Now this is the opposite of the "minimum information". This is "The Novelist". These are the people that send you a text so long that half way through you give up and just reply "bummer" because if anyone is sending a text that long they are probably venting. Never seen a happy go lucky text that managed to cover 3 messages. But ask a friend one question about their bf/gf and BAM...you've just woken a sleeping giant. Now don't get confused, if the person really needs help and needs someone to talk to I'm always there. But please...I really don't care about your cat you named Johnny Depp.
The Novelist Conversation
Me: Hey! How was school
Them: Don't even get me started! First I had chemistry with blah blah blah.......
(7 messages later)
.... and that's why I'm never moving to Finland
Me:...Bummer...
4) Now this is the one that for guys will always get them in a lot of trouble. This is "The Flirt". These are the people that in the middle of the day they randomly text you something like "Hey Babe. You're looking hawt!" After you read that you have to explain to every single person that happened to be there and read the message that they are just joking. And almost every time you will get the response..."do they know that it's a joke?"
I hope they do because apparently I'm engaged to 3 different girls....
The Flirt Conversation:
Them: Hey hottie. Thinking of you
Me: That's nice
Them: C'mon babe, why won't you talk to me? You're making me sad! :(
Me: Sorry, I'm just a little busy...
Them: With who! Some other woman!
Me: Hey this is Jeremy's dad. He just went into surgery. I'm sure he'll dream of you
(thanks dad...)
5) The Foreign Language....how did these people even function in school? I don't mean bilingual people. I mean people who thing they are typing English when in reality it looks like they are typing martian
The Foreign Language Conversation
Me: Dude, what's up?
Them: Nthing mn. Wazzup choo?
Me: What?
Them: Whacho been upto?
Me: Oh! Nothing much. Just going to a movie later
Them: DUDE! DAT TOTES ROCKS BRO! hf.
Me: Thanks?
Them: rotflmal
Me: That's it. I'm getting you a dictionary.
6) "The Photographer" These are the people that at least three times a week send you a picture of something. It can either be deep like a flower in the dessert or something dumb like a cat wearing a top hat. In either case, these people get annoying really fast.
The Photographer Conversation
Them: Lol how cute! (Picture of two cats at tea party)
Me: Haha, that's awesome. Where was this?
Them: At my house. I dressed them up
Me: Dude, man card revoked
7) "The Joker" This is the person that when ever they text you can guarantee that they sent you a joke. Sometimes they're good. Sometimes you wish you could slap them through your phone.
The Joker Conversation
Them: Knock Knock
Me: um...whose there?
Them: Dwayne
Me: Dwayne who?
Them: Dwayne the tub? I'm Drowning!
Me: Is that a promise?
8) The Ignore.... You all know who it is. They either don't have their phone or they just don't want to talk to you. I suggest sending them 50 messages that all say the same thing.
The Ignore Conversation
Me: Dude, what's up?
9) We have all gotten the text that we know was sent to every single person you know. These are "The Invite/Group only" texters. It's not like they're bad...it's just irritating since that's all they send. Half the time they don't even know how you are. They just happen to have your number because you worked on an assignment together.
Then Invite/Group only Conversation
Them: Party at my place at 7. Pass the word!
Me: Cool, where do you live?
Them: Who is this?
10) Finally there is the last and most dastardly of all texters. And the sad thing is that sometimes they don't even have a phone. That's right, these are "The Phone Snatchers". These are the guys who find out who your secret crush is and decide to text her with strange and embarrassing messages. These are the guys who decide to steal your phone and text your parents about doing drugs or other strange confessions. Keep your phone close
The Phone Snatcher Conversation
Fake Me: Hey Beautiful. I love you.
Them:....um.....thanks?.....
Meanwhile in real life: Dudes....have you seen my phone?
NO!! (shoves it under couch cushion)
Besides these there are tons of others. In the end the best choice would be to just call them or write a letter. Much safer.
