The 10 Types of People in a Chick Flick

Siting in my chair one day I realized that every Chick Flick has the same types of characters. My first thought was "are there 10 types?" Not because I wanted to know if there were 10 types but because I was bored. 

1) The Sweet and Shy Main Character

This person cannot be any more obvious. They are generally the person that has gotten out of a bad relation ship, ended a relationship, had someone die, or they are simply on the cover of the DVD case. If they are a guy they also always are wearing a suit as if it is their only article of clothing aside from the shorts and t-shirt they wear while  in the woods.

Conversation with Main Character
Me: So tell me about yourself
Them: Well...I never married because I wanted to further my career. However I have a deep longing to fall in love that I have been putting aside because I view it as a weakness. But now I realize that it is not a weakness...but a strength.
Me:.....ok....what are your thoughts on Sonic the Hedgehog?...go...

2) The Love Interest

This person is also easy to spot seeing as they are usually on the front of the DVD case too. The love interest can come from anywhere really. From a successful business person who doesn't know how to dress to a hobo...seriously! In the middle of the movie they are bound to have a life changing makeover that gets the main characters attention. Just think of the princess diaries transformation.

Conversation with Love Interest
Them: All I want is love (dreamily stare out window)

Me:....so no to the chicken romana?.....what are you looking at?

3) The Misunderstood Jerk
This is the guy that everyone looks at and says.."what a jerk". Whether it be because of his leather jacket or hardened expression, this guy is really a sweet person. The only reason he doesn't show it is because he needs to be strong and cool.

Conversation with Misunderstood Jerk
Me: Dude! Why did you just give that kid a wedgie but let the other kid go?
Them: The kid deserved a wedgie, but the other kid tried to protect him. He also had brown hair like my bunny, Giggles McJumpy.
Me: Whatever you say big guy, I was jus.....wait.....Giggles?

4) The Legitimate Jerk
This guy is just a jerk and nobody likes him for a good reason. Maybe it's his hair and everybody is jealous. Or maybe it's his muscles....we don't know. All we know is that we hate him.

Conversation with Misunderstood Jerk
Them: I am going to beat that kid up because I want to. I have absolutely no reason to do so except to watch him cry.
Me: Dude, that's heartless.
Them: Well it all started when..
Me: WAIT STOP! You aren't allowed to have any past story that may lead to redeeming qualities....it's in your contract. Sorry.

5) The Sweet and Shy guy who doesn't get the girl because he is not the main character
This second guy is usually the one that all the girls love because he isn't taken. People are usually upset when this guy doesn't get love but remember...it's not in his contract. Lets not give up hope though, there's always hope for a sequel!

Conversation with this guy
Me: Why are you looking at the window?
Them: (Looking out the window dreamily) because I'm thinking. I just saved the girl I love from death by giving her a blood transfusion but the first person she saw in the hospital was the main character who is equally as sweet and shy as me.
Me:.....(look through script) What kind of plot is this?

6) The Scheming Jealous Person
This person takes on many appearances. To me, it takes the appearance of a pasty white blond women with a large jaw and red dress. Sort of a Cruella DeVille meets Missi Pyle (Mrs. Beauregard from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory). Without fail, you always want this person to be hit by a bus by the halfway point. But don't get mad at them. They are there to move the plot of the movie forward!

Conversation with the Jealous Person
Me: You really think that releasing a swarm of bees into the wedding is going to solve anything?
Them: It's all simple. I ruin the big day and the hormonal bride will probably blame the groom. That will mean that there will be no wedding and that there will be more time for me to swoop in! My plan cannot fail, it is perfec...
Me: They just said 'I do'
Them: Crap! Fly me minions!
Me: Wow....out of all the beehives you had to get the empty one.
Them: I'll get another one and release it into the honey moon suite!
(runs outside and gets hit by bus)

7) The Funny/Helpful Friend
The Best friend. Sometimes they are combined with the person who doesn't get the girl because they aren't the main character. However the best friend has some other thing that makes them undesirable. They always seem to have really lax morals and living in a lower class than the friend.

Conversation with Friend
Them: You're a lucky guy. She really is a great girl. (Looks out window dramatically)
Me: What the heck are all you guys looking at?
Them: Nothing. I was just thinking how much I love her.
Me: Do you often pour out your feelings while looking out a window and thinking?
Them: The script didn't give me much to work with. It was either this or looking over the landscape on a horse.

8) The Old People that make the movie worth it
Let's be real. This is the only reason I watch Chick Flicks. There is always some old person that makes hilarious, sometimes inappropriate, and sometimes badly timed comments. They have the attitude of "I've lived longer than you, therefore I can do what ever I want". Apparently "What ever I want" includes scheming to get grand babies.

Conversation with The Old Person
Me: Wait Stop! That isn't safe and will not make them fall in love!
Them: Don't mess with me Seacrest! I survived two wars and the depression. I can survive base jumping! And what do you know about love! This will work. I WANT GRAND BABIES!!!!
(a couple hours later)
Me: I can't believe that worked.....
Them: Shut up! I can't hear my stories.

9) The Person That tries to help but really just messes stuff up
They're either clumsy or socially awkward. They've got some sort of quirky charm about them that makes what ever they do, no matter how bad it is, turn out good. Their attitude is usually overly optimistic and they always have a bright eyed innocence about them.

Conversation With This Person
Them: Who knew they both liked birds? I guess locking them in the aviary wasn't such a bad thing after all! I'm glad they're happy. (Looks out window dramatically)
Me: YOU TOO? What the heck is this movie!

10) The Phantom of the Opera
Yes. This is a Category. The Phantom. The guy that freaks everybody out but in the end everyone is cheering for. Thinking back I could have renamed this as the character that redeems himself but "The Phantom of the Opera" is so much cooler. With him you realize that he is a creeper though. Lets look at the facts. He's at least 20 years older than the girl, he spies on her in her dressing room from behind a mirror, he kidnaps her and tries to make her his bride, and then he goes on a killing spree trying to win her love. BUT WAIT!....he's got a cape, mask, and angelic voice.......all is forgiven!!!!

Conversation with The Phantom
Them: SING MY ANGEL OF MUSIC!
Me:...aw crap....
Them:....oh! sorry....wrong mirror
Me: whew!...that was scary (leaves room)
Person hiding in drapes: .....Is he gone?

Ramblings

Hello! I've got my head full of thoughts and things. Non personal things mind you although quite close to the heart. To all of you who are now thinking "oh no, he's going to rant" Don't worry! I only rant when I am actually distressed and is almost never. These are ramblings. I simply think words and type them out onto this nicely formatted little box. Once I have finished said ranting I will simply click the publish post button and make it so all of you can see it. Clever eh? (by the way, if you want this to be a little more entertaining then it already isn't, imagine it being read or spoken in a very rapid and excited British accent)

Firstly, Boxes! Their fantastic little things aren't they! You put things in them and can save space! If we are to be thankful for anything it should be for boxes.

Music is a great thing. Who would have thought the a group of sound waves could all be tuned to certain pitch's and then played in a certain order to create joy! It's almost as cool as how chemical reactions of nuclear fusion, plasma and other impressive sciency words that happen in the sky can create the happiness of looking at little lights and make little stories about them!

Girls. Confusing creatures. I don't mean creatures in the scary primal state that will eat your face if you accidentally step in their territory (guys, I can already tell a few of you are thinking of some snarky comment..don't, it's dangerous). No, I mean the lovely creatures that have been seen so rarely that we often regard them as angles or goddess's. Granted we see them all the time. In fact there is an obvious over population of them at BYU (not too much of a problem, depending on how you look at it). My only thoughts on this situation is that I may or may not be completely in love with one. Not sure yet. Waiting to see how the wind blows....fantastic thing wind

Wind! Makes you fly kites, makes windmills run, makes those ridiculous little birds think their falcons. I love wind. In reality it's everywhere. If you don't like it you might be in a pickle because of that fact.

Being in a pickle...what a fantastic saying. Makes absolutely no sense because some people really like pickles and being in one might just be heaven. You never know, people are weird.

That's all that is really on my mind at the moment. Just a sense of happiness that makes me happy about everything. Funny how live works isn't it?

Hope you mates had a great Christmas!
and will have a happy new year. lol smiley face :)

To the Dudes I Know

So if you read the girls post, you will see that I rhymed (or attempted to rhyme) little lines unique to each one of them in gratitude.

I will not be doing this for you.

Sorry mates. Poems to girls are cool like bow ties. Poems from a dude to another dude..well...I'll leave that to Shakespeare....
And lets be real, I have a lot more guy friends that girl friends (kind of sad really). I can't list you all.

So I shall speak the common language of Dudes.....

You guys are as cool as Chewbacca and Yoda...combined....

You guys are like a battle between Sherlock Holmes and The Joker. Epic and Chaotic

You guys are as cool as the battle between Groudon and Kyogre.

You gents are awesome....live long and prosper brethren








































Hippies Rule.....
















Batman and Green Lantern for life

To The Girls I Know

I twas sitting about and thinking one day, "I've got some awesome friends!" Not only that but how many of those awesome friends are girls. Why was I thinking about this? You can think my little brother Seth for that. Him being embarrassed about girls reminded me when I was his age and embarrassed when girls said hi to me (though lets be real...that still happens....) and when my parents would tease me (and again, let's be real...that still happens too....) So here is my ode to the awesome girls that I've hung out with lately. This is only a few of the girls I know, so if you are not on this list I'm sorry and I still love you. :)

Dania: The beautiful girl with the fiery hair, the contagious laugh, and more.
Every time she smiles at me it makes my spirit soar.

Catie: The Doctor Who girl that has an awesome sense of humor and a smile that will never fade.
Not to mention we were orchestra buddies since the 7th grade.

Eve: My crazy work buddy that always has a huge smile and a twinkle in her eye.
Sometimes when I hear her voice, I breath a lovesick sigh.

Bronwen: The cutest girl you'll ever meet with the cutest smile and eyes.
Too bad she sometimes isn't here and is freezing at BYU I.

Matt & Andrew: You gents have got your mission calls. Got out and teach the world.
Though in retrospect...why'd I write you this.....you guys I know aren't girls......

Jasmine: What light beyond your window breaks!...wait no..that's too cliche'.
Let me say it in a different way, you brighten up my day!

Kristy: What can I say? You're the best! You're smile is like no other.
But I regret to say, that to this day, I'm still competing with Seth...my brother...

Stephanie: We grew up together and still we're friends, she also made me (sort of) like country
I just can't believe I'm friends with such a girl so pretty!

I'm slightly sick and really tired, so I hope these rhymes don't fail
To tell the truth, I was inspired by Chicago and "Knights Tale"

In someways it may seem out of character, and some lines rhymes may not fit
But I can tell you, this was fun, because you girls are worth it (the mini poems and praise)

So in this holiday season of gratitude and cheer.
I'll say happy Christmas and a Merry New Year :) (yes that was on purpose)

Merry Christmas Girls

The Greatest Love Songs....in my opinion

Feeling angsty? Then this probably isn't the list for you. When I say angsty, I mean Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus, The Band Perry, etc.

This list has the true masters of the love song. As you guessed, most of these songs are from before our time...as in the 80s and 70s. 

5) You're The Inspiration by Chicago

This song is fantastic. It's the song that one should listen to when they think that life is getting to hard and that they should just quit. Why? Because this song will remind them that there is something to hold on to and to keep being good for. Maybe not something, but someone. The guiding light in the darkness.

4) I'll Be There For You by Bon Jovi

Ignore the Goofy 80s hair and music video. This song is something special because it has the message that I'll always be there for you. Through the good and the bad, even if you hate the guy, he'll still be there for you. 

3) All of my Love by Led Zeppelin 

It may be a little of the beaten trail of love songs, but Led Zeppelins cryptic messages and allusions to mythology, I feel, make this a great song.

2) Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd

Believe it or not, Pink Floyd can make a great love song. And instead of it being some trippy allusion that he would like to have you near (though there are some creative, not quite trippy metaphors and similes), he comes right out and says it "How I wish you where here"

1) In My humble opinion, the greatest love song is this.......

Faithfully by Journey

Just listen to it and you'll understand what I mean.

In each of these songs is a little part of what some believe. They keep holding on because a girl is the inspiration, they promise that they will always be there for them, even when it's hard. They will give all of their love because they deserve noting less. They will always have the girl on their mind and wish they were with them, and most importantly they will be faithful, no matter what.

The 10 Types of Nerds

When it comes to the world of Nerd and Dorkdom, it is important to know were you fall in the spectrum of nerd. Unlike other spectrums, this one only has three true categories: The Closet Nerd, The Normal Nerd, and the Obsessive Nerd. Within each group though there are the different types of nerds. Each devoted to their own different type of....thing....

1) The Closet Nerd is probably the most common type of nerd simply because they dominate the Middle and High Schools. Closet nerds however are the most likely to change into either a Normal Nerd or and Obsessive Nerd. The reason they are in the closet? Probably because they don't want to admit that they like something that everyone secretly loves. The big example is Pokemon in the middles school. You will be shunned and made fun of for playing in in public while the other kids are all playing it in private. Their just ashamed of their level 100 Charizard.

Conversation with a Closet Nerd
Me: Dude, have you ever played Pokemon?
Friend: Ya, a while ago. I've grown out of it..
Me: Bummer, I've been playing and I have a level 35 Charizard. One more level and it evolves!
Friend: Actually it evolves at level 37. Blastoise is the one that evolves at 36. Personally I would have chosen Squitle then trained a Grolithe as my fire type.
Me: .....what?.....
Friend: I mean.....uh......them Lakers eh? 


2) The Normal Nerds are probably the most manageable of the nerds. They enjoy their nerdy vices but they don't think it is the best. They have a basic knowledge of the different stories and nerd mediums and they have a favorite, but they are the least likely to put you down or challenge your favorite. Pretty chill and passive aggressive.

Conversation with a Normal Nerd
Me: Dude, I just saw Tron....it's awesome. I think it is my new favorite movie.
Friend: That's cool. I wasn't so much a fan of the movie but I like the concept of it all. I prefer Star Wars.
Me: Star Wars is pretty cool. Who would win? Rinzler or Count Dooku?
Friend: Rinzler for sure man.


3) The Obsessive Nerd is probably the most feared of all the nerds. Unlike the normal nerd that will have a logical (or as close to logical as you can) conversation with you, they will destroy you. Never engage one in a debate. If you win you can bet that you will find some threat in Klingon written on your door.

Conversation with The Obsessive Nerd
Me: I just got the new Pokemon game. I'm not going to lie, it's pretty fun.
Friend:....are you kidding me? 
Me: What?
Friend: You bought that game? With the 5th generation of Pokemon?
Me: Yes
Friend: Where is it? We Sacrifice it tonight to appease the mighty Mewtwo.
Me: You might want to rethink that man.
Friend: SILENCE HEATHEN


Those are the Three main personalities of a nerd. But what about the different worlds?

4) The Space Out Nerds. They are the people who like any kind of Science Fiction. From Star Wars to Star Trek. This is the group that you are most likely to see battles within the group however. The Enterprise Vs. the Millennium Falcon is a personal favorite of mine. No matter who you are in this group though. It is all agreed that Yoda is the ultimate winner of all battles with Darth Vader as a close second.

Conversation with a Space Out Nerd
Me: Dude, what is that?
Friend: It's my new lightsaber! What do you think?
Me: It's pretty cool....why is it purple?
Friend: So that it's like Mace Windu's.
Me: ....Isn't Mace Windu Black?
Friend: Yes
Me:....Dude, you're the whitest kid I kn...
Friend: Shhhh.......

5) Long Ago Lands Nerd. These nerds are the followers of Fantasies. Usually they can name every race in Middle Earth and can then speak the language of the elves. After that they would probably quote some prophesy and then talk about how they are the subject of said prophesy. In all reality I don't mind these nerds as long as they can also pull out the Religious themes and motifs from J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis's work. If they can't then I weep for the future.

Conversation with a Long Ago Lands Nerd
Friend: We should watch all of the Lord of the Rings Movies in one night.
Me: Ok, that sounds sweet.
Friend: We should also dress up.
Me:...um...ok....sure
Friend: I'll be Gandalf, you can be Frodo.
Me: ....I'm not that short man.

6) The Comic Book/Superhero Nerd. Admitting, I am one of these nerds. I can proudly say that I am a fan of the X-Men, That my Favorite Hero is The Green Lantern (but if I could be a superhero it would be Hulk), My favorite villain in Venom, and that my favorite superhero team is NOT the avengers (gasp!) But I think that the Justice League is the bomb. (Sorry for the Deception mates.) Honestly though, who isn't a superhero nerd? Everyone loves them! Usually the nerds also know more information about the superhero than is usually known.

Conversation with a Comic Book/Superhero Nerd
Me: Did you see the new Spider-Man Trailer?
Friend: Ya man, it looks awesome. I especially can't wait to see the Proto-Goblin.
Me: Who?
Friend: The Proto-Goblin, He was the test subject for the Green Goblin Serum. 
Me: Oh ya!.....that....guy....(poker face)


7) The Collectible Nerd. If you are this kind of nerd then you know exactly what I mean when I say, "I challenge you to a duel!) I don't know what it is, but it just feels cool when you have a deck or a game that is different from anyone else's. No one has your same cards. No one has your exact Pokemon team. It's just awesome to try and catch them all! One thing is aways agreed on between these nerds. Pokemon over Yu Gi Oh and Digimon and First Generation above all the others.

Conversation with The Collectible Nerd
Me: Arcanine! Use Fire Wheel!
Friend: Arbok, dodge and use Poison Bite!
(This would probably continue for about an hour so I'm not going to try and finish this conversation)

8) War Time Nerd. These are the black ops kids. They think they know everything to war because they have have fought off a horde of Nazi Zombies. If all our soldiers were playing these games the wars we are in would be over....no joke...sort of joke but mostly serious.

Conversation with a War Time Nerd
To tell you honestly I don't know what these conversations are like or I can't think of one off the top of my head. They'll probably list of a number of guns and then describe how they killed an entire army singly handed. They will also without fail talk about how they blew someones head off. 


9) Whovian. What is a Whovian? Have you ever heard of Doctor Who? Why are you shaking your head? Are you a hater? Probably. Doctor Who is one of those shows that people either hate or love. And when it is loved you cannot sway a follower from talking against it. It does however have the most contention. People always have their favorite Doctor and favorite Companion. Personally I like the 6th and 3rd doctor and Amy and Rory as the companions. Don't judge.

Conversation with a Whovian
Me: Don't Blink
Friend: But I need fish custerd
Me: Fine, could you pass me my sonic?
Friend: Sure, could you pass me my Fob Watch?
Me: Dude, don't open it yet. If you do then the angels will recognize you and take the phone box.
Friend: Let's be real, they will recognize us anyway because I'm wearing a Fez and your wearing a bow tie.
Me:....At least we go down looking cool....
(As you can see, both me and my friend are Whovians)

10) Harry Potter Nerds. Let's just say that there were a lot of disappointed people after Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part II. Not because it was bad (it was awesome). But because there are no more movies. Don't worry though....there's always Pottermore....

Conversation with a Harry Potter Nerd

These are the categories. People usually fit into a couple of different categories. If you only fall into one then you must be really devoted. Personally I'm a true blood Whovian, Space Out, Collectible, Superhero nerd with a touch of Long Ago Lands.

Life

This is a world of darkness and there is no way to hide from it. This is a time when temptation is a king with hatred and sin as it's two messengers. And in this time it is easy to forget where you stand as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. All too often we see people who say that it is appropriate to lie here and there, to use profane language, and to engage in those activities that would otherwise be considered uncivilized and immoral, and then they say that it is okay, they are saved because what they did wasn't that bad. But everywhere we learn that even once can be destructive. For the Devil "lull(s) them away into carnal security, that they will say: All is well in Zion; yea, Zion prospereth, all is well-- and thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell".

God wants all of us to return, and the devil wants all of us to be "miserable like unto himself" Remember that even though darkness is everywhere and is the natural thing, light will always overpower it. Wickedness cannot exist in the presence of good. Evil cannot exist in the presence of Righteousness. Christ is our master, our savior, and our king. He is the loving father of our bodies, and our caring and concerned elder brother. Yet why do some run from him when his arms are stretched out to save?

My brothers and sisters, I do not write this in an attempt to show off my faith and beliefs like a car on display, but to allow others to know what I believe. And I hope that I will be able to be an example of the believers in all that I do. What I say, I feel constrained to say and do not wish offence.

Too all those reading, you must know that I love you and pray for you. I am nothing much and am far from perfect, many know that. But the the thing that I want you all to know is that even though I am far from perfect and am myself climbing out of the darkness, I Know that my redeemer lives. I often thought that it was impossible to know such a thing, but I now I know I was wrong. I know that the gospel is true and that it has be restored to the earth. I know that Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon and I know that it is the most correct book on the face of the earth. I only pray that someday I will be as the Brother of Jared and have a perfect knowledge and be able to shout it to the whole world, but as Alma once dictated "I do sin in my wish". But I will still proclaim, from the mountains to the seas, That I Know that Christ lived and died for us.

Brothers and sisters again, I love you. If there is one thing that I am able to leave you as we go our separate ways in life, it is that I have a testimony and that nothing can turn me from it.

I say these thing humbly
In the name of our savior and redeemer, even Jesus Christ
Amen

Pink Floyd

Ladies and Gents, have I ever introduced you to my favorite band? Unlike other people that have a favorite band that changes with the moods, I have one set band because of their awesomeness, their genius, their brilliance, and yes....their psychedelics man.

Now they are a pretty trippy band. One of the things I like about them is that they didn't just make music to entertain, but also as art. They were artists and innovators like Picasso and Dali (If you wish to debate please do, I could go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on......)

Did I mention how good their guitarist is? With their music, I feel that it could fit any mood. With the song Comfortably Numb I have listened to it falling asleep, running, doing homework, playing Super Smash Bros, on a bus to a concert, while waiting for a concert, I could go on.

Here's the famous anthem you may have heard in English if you went to Timpview.

And Here's my favorite song

Just as a side note, you might have noticed that I only put live versions on the songs onto this post. Here's why...the videos are Stodgy, scary, disturbing, etc. I wouldn't recommend looking up any of the music videos and although I consider Pink Floyd's The Wall to be one of the greatest albums ever, don't ever watch the movie. You will have nightmares.
On that note, peace out

Things I've learned from songs

It's amazing how much wisdom can be is some songs. Here are some of the lessons that I've learned from them.

1. ZZ Top Taught me that "Every Girl's Crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man" That is why I wear bow ties and suspenders besides the fact that they're cool.

2. Fefe Dobson taught me that if I ever lie not to stutter

3. Miley Cyrus taught me that as long as I :have less than 7 thing about me that are irritating, I'm safe.

4. Taylor Swift taught me never break up with someone in December

5. Foster the People taught me not to be a kid with the pumped  up kicks, or else I'm going to have to out run a gun and be faster than a bullet...not a pretty thought

6. Vanessa Carlton taught me that I am really not willing to go 1000 miles

7. P!NK taught me that not only am I perfect...but #*@%$^ perfect....that makes me feel warm and fuzzyish

8. I'm scared of what Death Cab for Cutie teaches me

9. Selena Gomez taught "Who Says?" I say....me....

10. Justin Bieber may have said that there was one less lonely girl....(snicker*)

11. Christina Perri taught me about the concept of the "Jar of Hearts" and that it leaves scars....and that this song is under appreciated so I took the liberty of adding it back to the play lists on grooveshark....this is war....

12. Fun. Taught me that the only time I can be with pretty girls is on Saturday night.

13. Arctic Monkeys taught me not to sit down because they have moved my chair.

14. Weird Al sadly did not teach me anything in "White and Nerdy"

Well, that's all I can think of for now. Let me know if you have any others

Broadways got some winners eh?

One of the things that I love about Broadway performances is that they always have that epic song that calls you to action or that inspires you in some way. Of these here are my top five favorite epic Broadway songs.

5. Falcon in the Dive (The Scarlet Pimpernel)
I consider this one epic because it is very similar to another one of my favorite songs that talks about catching someone. I think the entire concept of two people who believe they are doing the right thing and yet are against each other is a great concept.

The Song that Goes like This (Spamalot)
This song is memorable simply because of it's message....and that message is that every show has a song that goes like this.....

Dream The Impossible Dream (Man of La Mancha)
I must thank my friend Andrew for introducing me to this Brian Stokes Mitchel Character. I had always liked this version of "The Impossible Dream". I never realized it was the legendary gent himself. Another great version is the Mo-Tab version. This song is fantastic because of the desire to do that which is impossible and succeed. My favorite line from this song (and one I kind of wish I could put on a missionary plaque if I was allows) is "To fight for the right, without question or cause, to be willing to march into Hell for a heavenly cause!" and "The world, will be better for this. That one man, scorned and covered with scars. Still strove with his last ounce of courage to reach the unreachable star" Pure epicness

Anthem (Chess)
If anyone knows me very well, they know that I don't really like patriotism. Don't get me wrong, I love America, but I don't think that being patriotic means dressing up in flamboyant red white and blue and singing only country and I love America songs. I'm sorry if you disagree, it's just the way I am. I love this song because it describes my patriotism. Just like the person in the song, I don't need to outwardly show that I am proud of my country and shove that belief down everyone's throats. No, instead I share what I believe and leave it at that. The lines "She is the constant, we who don't care" "I cross over borders but I'm still there now" and the epic "My lands only boarders lie around my heart." accurately describe my philosophy.

Stars (Les Miserables)
This is the song that I always think of when I hear "Falcon in the Dive". Besides that, stars has the coolest lyrics of any song I've heard. I think it's brilliant how they make this song sound like it is the hero's anthem, but the it turns out to be the enemies theme. After hearing this song you sympathize with Javert. After all, he's only doing his job. This is probably on of my favorite over all songs of all time....and when I say all time I mean all my 18 years of considerable knowledge...."God, let me find him, that I may see him, Safe behind bars! I will never rest, till then this I swear, This I swear by the Stars!" Talk about power and resolve!

So if you're feeling down. Give these songs a listen. They are fantastic.

Coulrophobia and Autonomatonophobia

Alright. Here is the post were I make confession (or rather state an embarrassing fact).

I'm not sure what it's called but Google called it Coulrophobia and Autonamtonophobia.

According to the all knowing Google, Coulrophobia is the fear of Clowns. I actually do have this fear. I am more scared of clowns than heights if that helps any of you understand. This fear stems from when I was a young child (and when I say young I mean like 5 or 6) and I was dumb enough to watch "It", which is basically about a killer clown. I was also dumb enough to watch "The Poltergeist" soon after and because of the clown scene it that movie I have been legitimately scared of clowns ever since.

Autonamtonophobia is a fear of animatronic figures, wax figures, and Ventriloquist dummies. I have this to a much lesser degree. I don't mind wax figures or animatronic figures...but I cannot be in the same room as a ventriloquist dummy. When I say dummy I don't mean Jeff Dunham, he's hilarious. I mean the creepy ones that have suits and such. I got this fear because I watched a show called Goosebumps as a kid (again 5 or 6) and one of the stories was centered around a dummy that came to life. I would have a picture...but I refuse to Google dummies and clowns.

Even by writing this post I'm starting to freak out so I'm going to wrap it up.

I also hate china dolls. I don't know why but those have always bothered me.

So there it is. Is it irrational?....Yes.....I really can't explain it

My encounter with a ghost

I've never given much thought to ghosts. I personally don't believe in them. But after the experience that happened a couple nights ago....I am now a believer.

It all started when I went to start my car. When I got in I noticed that the gas gauge was pointing to low. It was strange because I had recently filled it up. Now it was empty, how do you explain that? I then started the car and was amazed to see that it had gone back to full..........I don't know any other explanation other than some foul creature had stolen all my gas and then put it all back. Why else would it go from empty to full in less than a second! It was trying to get to me.

Later that day I had to take a test in the testing center. I decided to take one of the only free desks which happened to be right at the front of the giant room. I thought these would all be taken because it's so perfect. No one bothers you and it's by a window. Little did I know that it was HAUNTED!!! The entire time I was feeling a cold presence on my left side....ONLY...my left side. I think it was the spirit of a student who was caught cheating and he hasn't left. Or stopped cheating. I know this was a ghost because it was cold outside that day, and why on earth would the testing center have it's air conditioning on? They wouldn't because they, unlike us lowly humble test takers, are intelligent. It wanted my test answers. So I decided to trick it and I answered every single question wrong. Who's the smart one now? I just tricked a ghost.

I believe the cheating ghost followed me home that night because every time I passed a window or a vent I felt it's presence. Finally I decided to confront it. I opened the drapes and saw a FACE!!!.....after I let my brother into the house looked around for any spiritual evidence of a ghost. I then clearly saw the tree start shaking and the leaves started to fall. The dastardly ghost....clearly not an eco-friendly ghost.

Now you might think that I'm making this stuff up, but I'm not! You want proof? I haven't told anyone this...but I'm psychic. Every time there is a disturbance on a psychic level...I hear a sound. Inexplicably every time there is a ghost I start to hear Stairway to Heaven. Is there a message there? I think so! I have therefore decided to fight against ghosts and send them to where ever they came from!

(5 minutes later)

....Hi....this is the ghost.....I hacked Jeremy's blogger. All the stuff up top is all real so I thought I'd just put in a plug for all you unbelievers. Now that I've done that I guess I'll go cause some mayhem (allstate style) like close a door or turn off a light...ghost stuff. Dang I hear him coming. Gotta go

P.S. he got the building wrong....I'm from the SWKT

The 10 Types of Texters

In my experience as a texter of this generation, I have encountered 10 different types of texters. I'm sure there are more but these are the ones that seem to be more common than others.

1) The first and most abundant type of texter is the "Normal Texter" This could really be anyone, usually a friend or significant other. When they text, they usually text in such a fashion that if you were to read them out loud it would be as if you were actually talking to him/her. However, this type of texter is the most susceptible to corruption from any or all of the other groups.

Normal Text Conversation:

Me: Hey! What's up?

Them: Nothing much, just chillin' How was school?

Me: It was decent, I'd of rather stayed home.

Them: haha, I know how you feel

Me: Wanna meet up someplace?

Them: Sure, see you in 5.

2) The next type of texter is the "minimum amount of info" texter. These people, as their name describes, are usually the ones that text the least amount of info possible. Almost all of us have this type of texter in us, but it usually only comes out when we're doing something important like school...or avoiding.... According to a recent poll that is entirely ficticious, this group is the main cause of broken phones because usually the recipient will throw it out a window or on the ground out of frustration. It is also possible that they also just don't want to talk to you.

Minimum Info Conversation

You: What's up?

Them: Nothing.

You: Really? You're not doing anything?

Them: yep

You: Wow, boring. What about school?

Them: It's good

You:...Care to expound?

Them: nope

You: K....nothing?...Really?

Them: Yep

You: You need a life.

Them: Ya. I'm gunna go do homework...

You: SO YOU WERE DOING SOMETHING!!!!!

3) Now this is the opposite of the "minimum information". This is "The Novelist". These are the people that send you a text so long that half way through you give up and just reply "bummer" because if anyone is sending a text that long they are probably venting. Never seen a happy go lucky text that managed to cover 3 messages. But ask a friend one question about their bf/gf and BAM...you've just woken a sleeping giant. Now don't get confused, if the person really needs help and needs someone to talk to I'm always there. But please...I really don't care about your cat you named Johnny Depp.

The Novelist Conversation

Me: Hey! How was school

Them: Don't even get me started! First I had chemistry with blah blah blah.......

(7 messages later)

.... and that's why I'm never moving to Finland

Me:...Bummer...

4) Now this is the one that for guys will always get them in a lot of trouble. This is "The Flirt". These are the people that in the middle of the day they randomly text you something like "Hey Babe. You're looking hawt!" After you read that you have to explain to every single person that happened to be there and read the message that they are just joking. And almost every time you will get the response..."do they know that it's a joke?"

I hope they do because apparently I'm engaged to 3 different girls....

The Flirt Conversation:

Them: Hey hottie. Thinking of you

Me: That's nice

Them: C'mon babe, why won't you talk to me? You're making me sad! :(

Me: Sorry, I'm just a little busy...

Them: With who! Some other woman!

Me: Hey this is Jeremy's dad. He just went into surgery. I'm sure he'll dream of you

(thanks dad...)

5) The Foreign Language....how did these people even function in school? I don't mean bilingual people. I mean people who thing they are typing English when in reality it looks like they are typing martian

The Foreign Language Conversation

Me: Dude, what's up?

Them: Nthing mn. Wazzup choo?

Me: What?

Them: Whacho been upto?

Me: Oh! Nothing much. Just going to a movie later

Them: DUDE! DAT TOTES ROCKS BRO! hf.

Me: Thanks?

Them: rotflmal

Me: That's it. I'm getting you a dictionary.

6) "The Photographer" These are the people that at least three times a week send you a picture of something. It can either be deep like a flower in the dessert or something dumb like a cat wearing a top hat. In either case, these people get annoying really fast.

The Photographer Conversation

Them: Lol how cute! (Picture of two cats at tea party)

Me: Haha, that's awesome. Where was this?

Them: At my house. I dressed them up

Me: Dude, man card revoked

7) "The Joker" This is the person that when ever they text you can guarantee that they sent you a joke. Sometimes they're good. Sometimes you wish you could slap them through your phone.

The Joker Conversation

Them: Knock Knock

Me: um...whose there?

Them: Dwayne

Me: Dwayne who?

Them: Dwayne the tub? I'm Drowning!

Me: Is that a promise?

8) The Ignore.... You all know who it is. They either don't have their phone or they just don't want to talk to you. I suggest sending them 50 messages that all say the same thing.

The Ignore Conversation

Me: Dude, what's up?

9) We have all gotten the text that we know was sent to every single person you know. These are "The Invite/Group only" texters. It's not like they're bad...it's just irritating since that's all they send. Half the time they don't even know how you are. They just happen to have your number because you worked on an assignment together.

Then Invite/Group only Conversation

Them: Party at my place at 7. Pass the word!

Me: Cool, where do you live?

Them: Who is this?

10) Finally there is the last and most dastardly of all texters. And the sad thing is that sometimes they don't even have a phone. That's right, these are "The Phone Snatchers". These are the guys who find out who your secret crush is and decide to text her with strange and embarrassing messages. These are the guys who decide to steal your phone and text your parents about doing drugs or other strange confessions. Keep your phone close

The Phone Snatcher Conversation

Fake Me: Hey Beautiful. I love you.

Them:....um.....thanks?.....

Meanwhile in real life: Dudes....have you seen my phone?

NO!! (shoves it under couch cushion)

Besides these there are tons of others. In the end the best choice would be to just call them or write a letter. Much safer.

The Legends in Music

There is always a craze in music. You have from the indie artists like Arcade Fire and Fun. playing their fun little melodies to the techno and pop sensations like Katey Perry and Lady Gaga. But for these bands and everything in between we need to remember the roots of rock and roll. Not as far back as the African Spirituals and 50's big bands, But the people who changed Rock and Roll. In my humble opinion here are the top 5 bands that lead the revolution so to speak.

1) The Beatles.

They are probably one of the most important voices in this music revolution. Four shaggy headed kids from Liverpool, who doesn't love that? Their appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show singing "I want to hold your hand" introduced and made them even bigger in America. If only John Lennon had kept his mouth shut when he proclaimed, "we're bigger than Jesus". Maybe they wouldn't have lost some popularity. Almost all the band members are famous however only two are still alive. John Lennon was shot by a crazed fan and George Harrison died of cancer. Sir Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr are still performing.

Here's what to listen to if you're not familiar:

Let it Be

Come Together

Hey Jude

She Loves You

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

Eight Days a Week

I Want to Hold Your Hand

2) The Rolling Stones

When they came over the pond not only did they bring their music, but also their rebellion. Named after the blues legend, Muddy Waters, song "Rollin' Stone" these brits also took rock n' roll to another level. Where The Beatles were more progressive and pushing forward, The Rolling Stones were building off their knowledge of the blues and evolving it. Their lead guitarist, Kieth Richard, is considered one of the best guitarists ever. Mick Jagger is known for his huge mouth.

What to listen to if you're not familiar

(I can't get no) Satisfaction

Get off of my Cloud

Ruby Tuesday

Sympathy for the Devil

Paint it Black

Under my Thumb

3) Led Zeppelin

Pushing forward a couple years, Led Zeppelin (originally Lead Zeppelin but their manager thought Americans were thick and would pronounce it Leed) came to the front as a progressive rock band that worked with the blues. Their stage preformances were also legendary. Guitarist Jimmy Page and Bassist John Paul Jones are considered to be among the best guitarists and bassists.

What to listen to if you're not familiar

Black Dog

Stairway to Heaven

Immigrant Song

All of my Love

Whole lotta love

Kashmir

D'yer Mak'er

4) Pink Floyd

They may have been druggies, but they changed the way music was listened to. Up till now music was more for the entertainment of people. It was still an art, but now it was a different type of art. Psychadaliea. Instead of love songs and heartbreak songs, their singing about social issues and instead of just rebelling against the government, their saying no to the government. They don't sing to girls...but to walls. David Gillmore and Roger Waters are still touring though not together. The Albums "THE WALL" and "Dark Side of the Moon" are considered their most popular albums.

What to listen to if you're not familiar

Comfortably Numb

Happiest Days of our lives/Another brick in the wall part II

Brain Damage/Eclipse

Money

Us and Them

High Hopes

Wearing the Inside Out

5) Queen

Fast forward to the 80's. This band was a pioneer for music simply because their lead singer was a genius. Honestly, who else could have written a song like "We Will Rock You" where the only musical line other than the vocals is three beats? Who else could write anthems that would live on forever like "We are the Champions", "Bicycle Races", "Save Me", and more! Brian May is also one of the best guitarists in the world.

In case you're not familiar:

Save Me

Show Must Go On

Breakthru

Radio Gaga (the song that inspired Lady Gaga's name)

Bicycle Race

We Will Rock You

We are the Champions

Another One Bites the Dust

Good old Fashioned Lover Boy

Crazy little thing called love

I want to break free

Besides these five which are my Favorite, there are tons of others like: The Animals, Buddy Holly, Bob Dylan, Eric Clapton, The Who, and many more. Take a listen to these guys. These are some of the beginnings of rock and roll.

The Pentathlon: A Realistic Triathlon

Welcome to the readers sheet for the Fourth annual Provo Pentathlon. The event is much like a normal Triathlon with a few minor tweaks to give it what we feel is a more realist and less stressful time. The main events are as follows: Run, Bike, Swim. The other two events are combined with the Bike portion and the Swim portion.

To begin, you will run a 5k. Some of you will find this simple as you have been training for some time now...The rest of you will be wishing you were dead by the end of the second mile. There will be water stations along the course. However, keep in mind that you can not stop and will have to grab the cup out of one of our volunteers hands. If you manage to only get 3 drops of water total...consider yourself lucky.

The second event is the bike. You will be biking 10 miles all up hill and possibly in the rain. When (not if) your bike breaks down, you have just started the third event...bike repair. You will be asked to properly show how to fix your bike if:

a) The tire pops

b)The chain falls off

or c) The bike spontaneously combusted.

You are allowed to use whatever methods necessary, but keep in mind, fire extinguishers are not readily available in the forest.

The Fourth and Fifth event are as follows. Getting into your wetsuit, swimming five miles....up hill, then getting out of your wetsuit. For those athletes who thought they were so clever for not bringing a wetsuit, don't worry. We have devised a test that is almost equally as painful and humiliating. You will be asked to swim through a tank of hungry piranha while wearing clown make-up. We considered having you dress completely up as a clown....but we didn't want you to go through as much pain as the wetsuit wearers.

We wish all of you the best of luck. Not only luck in the race, but also luck in finding the finish line that was hidden by the creators of Where's Waldo.

Have Fun!

Le Pipe

This is not a pipe. Then what is it? It could be a metaphor for how nothing is truly as it seems. It could also be that the painter was just trying to mess with everyones mind. What ever the case we still have to ask...."If not a pipe, then what is it? It can't really be anything else." In one sense the painter could be talking about the words. The pipe is the pipe, but "ceci n'est pas un pipe" is not a pipe. Is he saying that words do not define what something is? That words alone cannot describe something or someone?