Texting: How to interpret and understand a text

Ever read a text and thought "What does this mean"?

Well worry no more because I have come up with a way to understand what people are saying behind all their smiley faces and acronyms. 

Lets start with the most basic: Emoticons

Now if you send a text asking how someone is and get the response "I'm doing great" you have nothing to worry about because they are probably telling the truth. However if you add an emoticon the meaning all of the sudden changes.

What They Type....................................................................What They Mean

I'm doing great :)................................................................I'm Having a great day!

I'm doing great :D..............................................................I'M REALLY EXCITED!!

I'm doing great :/...................................................................It's an ok day I guess

I'm doing great :(....................................................................Bazinga! No I'm not

I'm doing great B)....................................................I'm doing great because I've got sunglasses

There are several different emoticons but these are the most common. Once in a while you might get a :O or a o_O or something. The first one usually means that they are surprised while the other one means that one eye is now bigger than there other and that they probably should see a doctor or something.

Next we move onto punctuation. Punctuation can be very difficult to decipher but if you have patience then you too can figure it out. For this example we will use the common "I'm fine" text

What They Type..............................................................................What They Mean

I'm Fine...................................................................................................I'm Fine
I'm fine!.......................................................................................I'm Fine, stop bugging me
I'm Fine?.................................................................................I think I'm fine or I'm fine...duh!
I'm Fine.  ........................................................................................I'm fine PERIOD
I'm fine/ ..........................................................................Their finger just slipped. They're really fine

Besides punctuation and emoticons there are also acronyms. These can sometimes just add to the confusion of a text. Why? because some of them have double meanings. So instead of using the regular acronyms we should make some that are actually true

LOL (laughing out Loud) becomes LQTM (Laughing Quietly To Myself).
Note: That is unless you are actually laughing out loud. In that case then....cool....

Example
Them: YOU"RE SOOO FUNNY LOL
vs.
Them: You're So Funny LQTM

FML (F*** My Life) becomes IWA (I Want Attention) or IAP (I Am Pathetic)
Note: No ones life is that bad. Suck it up!

Example
Them: My taco had no meat FML
vs.
Them: My taco had no meat IAP

TGIF (Thank Goodness It's Friday) becomes IF (I'M FREE!)

Example
Them: TGIF!
vs.
Them: IF!!

IDK (I Don' Know) becomes IDC (I Don't Care)

Example
Them: What should we do IDK what to do
vs.
Them: What should we do IDC what we do

JK (just kidding) becomes ICTWOJK (In Case That Was Offensive Just Kidding)

Example
You're Fat haha JK
vs.
You're Fat haha ICTWOJK

OMG (Oh My Gosh) becomes STFD (Shut the Front Door)
Note: I just changed it because OMG is annoying.

Lets be real...this doesn't need an example. It's just cool

K becomes
Note: that's right....we just get rid of it

WTF (What the Freak) becomes D (Dude...)
Note: You have to day "Dude" with a tone of "why did you do that"

This is the same as OMG

TTYL (Talk To You Later) becomes ITT (I'll Text Tomorrow or I'll Text Tonight or I'm The Terminator)

Example
I have a secret but I'll TTYL
vs.
I have a secret but ITT

Besides those here are some recommended Acronyms that are more fun

YMMTMIJWCMFS (You make me the maddest, I just want to change my Facebook status)

TWTW (That was totally wicked)

TGIC (That Girl I Cute)

ITI (I'll Tweet It!)- use as a threat

Finally we have the bane of every text message. The Ellipses. Narrowing it down they have about 6 different meanings depending on the context

Awkward Pause:
I like toast....

You're Weird:
Whatever you say....

They're 'thinking':
......why do you say that.....

Dramatic Pause:
I like.....toast......

Something's Wrong:
I'm ok....

They're just being annoying:
I....can't.....understand your...message..translate it.........k.

So let's now test your skills. Here is a text message that you must decipher. Good Luck

Them: Hi! Do you have the homework from today? I forgot it.... :D
If you can send it back that would be gr8 K :D

Them: Why arent U responding.....?

TRANSLATION
Them: HELLO FRIEND! I forgot the homework (awkward pause) Isn't that funny?
If you can send it that would be gr and the number 8. I'm really happy!

Them: Do you hate me (something's wrong)(awkward pause) oh that that's a question(another awkward pause)

There you have it. You can now read any text message with little or some difficulty.
You're welcome






















the word is bazinga