The 10 Types of Musicians

Music is Fantastic. It is said to be one of the most powerful forces on earth. So within the music world, there is a special place for those who can actually create music. Maybe not write it, but at least be able to play it. Here are the 10 different types of Musician.

1) Normal
They simply play music. They have a basic knowledge of composition and music theory and are able to play an instrument or two. They know how to appreciate good music and critic bad music. They usually are pretty open minded when in comes to bands but they know when something isn't good.

Conversation with a Normal Musician
Me: So what instruments do you play?
Them: I play the trombone but I'm learning guitar right now.
Me: That's cool. Is it hard?
Them: Not really, it's a lot like the violin.
Me:...right....

2) Indie
They can be identified by they're common catch-phrase: So mainstream... They never listen to anything anyone says because their music is obviously better than yours. Their only weakness is when you lock them in a room and start playing mainstream music.

Conversation with and Indie
Me: Dude, have you listened to the new Bon Jovi album?
Them: So mainstream
Me: Dude...it's way good
Them: Is it artistic and reference early 19th century philosophers? 
Me:......sure.......

3) Mainstream
Then are the exact opposite and greatest enemy to the Indie musician. All they listen to is mainstream music. They wouldn't recognize any older artists unless their song had been on one of VH1s greatest hits lists. They think that Nirvana is still alive and the bands they "discover" are all bands that have existed.

Conversation with a Mainstream
Them: Hey! I just discovered this great band!
Me: Sweet, who are they?
Them: I can't remember exactly but they have some awesome songs that I think you would like. Like this one called "Let it Be" and another called "Hey Jude". They sound pretty new...
Me: That's The Beatles. They've been around for a long time.
Them: Who?
Me: You know...John Lennon, Paul McCartney?
Them: Aren't they in our physics class?
Me:.....oh geez....

4) Wannabe's
As you might have noticed, Both the indie and the mainstream musicians didn't play any instruments. That is because they fit into one of three groups. The first being actual musicians that are possibly misguided, second are people that don't know how to play an instrument but can still enjoy music, then third...the wannabe. They play no instrument, but they pretend like they can. Much like the person who says that they're good at sports but they can't play because of an "injury" (just as a side note for those who know me, I actually do have an injury that makes it so I can't play some sports. I would also say that I am safe because I never was any good at the sports that I can't play anyway). It is either that or they play a really lame instrument that doesn't have any musical quality.

Conversation with Wannabe
Me: What was that sound?
Them: I was playing my Recordica
Me:.....What? What's that, it sounded terrible!
Them: It's a combination Recorder and Harmonica. I would play my cello but it's in the shop.

5) Rock n' Roller
These are usually guitarists that know how to play every single popular rock song (ie. sweet child of mine, living on a prayer, etc.) or a bass player that keeps on insisting that the bass is the most important part of the band (which it is). Unfortunately, they have no idea about what classical music is. They are known for not enjoying country and rap music.

Conversation with a Rock n' Roller
Me: Dude, you're way good
Them: Thanks man, I practice a lot
Me: Where you classically trained?
Them: Well I learned listening to Led Zeppelin
Me: What about Bach or Motzart. I think they have some guitar concertos.
Them: Who are they?...and what's a Concerto?.....

6) Actually Plays Really Well
These people are split into two different categories. The people that can play really well and you had no idea that they did and the people who play really well and EVERYONE knows that they can play. On one hand, the person that can play really well but doesn't usually play is more modest and will usually just play for fun when they're alone simply because they enjoy it. The other person is really good but in reality the only reason they practice is because they will soon have the chance to show off.

Conversation with Actually Plays Really Well
Me: Hey man, can I have a turn?
Them: Sure, just a sec though, a really cute girl's coming and I want her to see me play.
Me: You mean Stella? She just left...
Them:.....I'll give you 20 bucks if you get her back in here.
Me: Alright, I'll just tell her that they brought out a second birthday cake
Them: Thanks Bro.

7) Pretends to Play
Much like the Wannabe, they talk a lot about playing an instrument. The difference between the two is that these people don't actually know how to play anything. Even the made-up instruments would give them trouble. Even instruments that they invented would be hard. Instead of just admitting that music wasn't their thing, they pretend like they can play, even though in actuality they have no idea how.

Conversation with Pretends to Play
Me: Dude, nice guitar case! Do you play?
Them: Sort of. I'm still learning notes and chords but I'm already pretty good!
Me: Cool, I know how to play, mind if I?
Them: Well....you see...the problem is that I don't actually have the guitar with me....
Me:....then what's in the guitar case?
Them: Three ham sandwiches, five packs of ramen and a box of candy bars......
Me:So it's a lunchbox?

8) Oldies
They listen only to the old stuff. Then will never admit to liking any music past the 80s and even then it's limited. The enjoy the listening from the 70s, 60s, and even earlier. Big band is their thing. The instrument that they play is probably something like the sax or the trumpet. Their usually really laid back because that's the way their music is.

Conversation with the Oldies
Them: Ah...I just love listening to the Mama's and Papas.
Me: I like them to. Their so mellow. My dad showed them to me.
Them: I liked them first. I discovered them.
Me: Dude......no you didn't

9) Classical
These people are the exact opposite of the chilled out oldies. These are the intense practicers and analyzers of music. They listen to the really old stuff like Mozart and Bach. They are also really good when it comes to playing an instrument. Usually proteges. They pride themselves with thinking that they know more about music (classical or not)....they don't....

Conversation with the Classical
Them:Have you ever listened to the genius of Mozart?
Me: Ya, I like his stuff. But I prefer Dvorak.
Them: Psh.....if you're into that mainstream stuff....

10) The 80s
They've got it all. They play guitar really well, they've got big hair. They know great music when they hear it. Besides that, they know about the greatest love songs, rock anthem songs, and best....everything....

Conversation with The 80s
....Lets be real....the conversation would be too awesome.