How to be a Hipniky

What is a Hipniky you might as. Well the answer is simple, it is a person that has the qualities of a Hipster, a Beatnik, and a Hippy. As I will explain however, you have to have certain characteristics to be considered a hipniky. If you have a different combination then you could end up being a Beppyster or even worse...a Yippster.

First is your clothing. At a glace you would think it was Hipster clothing but on careful analysis you will notice that it is slightly off. For instance, instead of skinny jeans, mustache, and undersized jacket (although some have been known to wear them); you have the Bell-bottom style pants of the hippy, the neatly trimmed (but not too long) Mustache and goatee of the beatnik, and depending on your style either the small jacket of the hipster, the vest of the hippy, or the scarf and trench of the beatnik. Of course all these styles can go between the different groups but you need to have the certain style. For example: A hippy vest will be smaller, unclasped and will probably have tassels and beads. A Beatniks vest would be black and classy, while a Hipsters vest would probably be an old cut-up jacket. V necks and vintage shirts are allowed always.

Hair is important. It is mostly a combination of the Hippy and the Hipster. It isn't too long, but long enough that you can still head bang and still look cool. Don't try and wear headbands, that just restricts your hair. You need to make it so that it can fly in the breeze.

Also important: Glasses. It doesn't matter what type or how big. The only thing that matters is that they have visible rims that go all the way around. It's also good to get glasses that aren't normally worn, like half moon, harry potter style, coke bottle, etc.

Now the vernacular is tricky. You have to use phrases that used by both the Beatniks and the Hippies. Say Hippy things like "Dude" or "The Man" or my favorites "Groovy" and "Far Out". Then to incorporate beatnik things start comparing huge events or important people and companies to everyday things. If you get it to rhyme then you get karma points. Also refer to almost everyone as "man" and if something surprises you, don't start freaking out about it. Simply lean back slightly, widen your eyes, and softly say "Whoa...."

Now for the most important part. Attitude. Especially towards music. You are allowed to listen to stuff that's mainsteam but you must also make fun of it. You must combine all three of the characteristics when listening to this music. Like the hippy, you can listen to current music (as they did back in the 60s and 70s) while also listening to the music from 60s and 70s and even 80s. 90s is tabooed....sorry. To incorporated the beatnik, it doesn't matter what you listen to, it matters how much you know about what you're listening to. While listening to a song you have to start calling out random facts about the band and you usually know all the names of the members of the band. Lastly, to add the hipster touches. You have to have indie music on your Ipod. Remember how I said that the 90s is tabooed? This is why. Up till the 90s, there was some pretty awesome music. Then in the 90s things just got weird. True there are some good songs and a couple good bands but not to the extent of the 80s. Another thing is that by the 80s, rock and roll had matured from its humble roots of folk, jazz, and big band. Growing up too be Alternative, Techno, New Wave, Glam Rock, Arena Rock, and Hard Rock. However, in the 90s, it was the awkward change from rock to punk, goth, screamo, metal. It eventually got to be matured...but it was just weird during that time. (That's just my opinion. Having opinions like this are important to being a hipniky.)

Lets get real for a moment though. In the end, it doesn't matter what you are on the outside. In the end, the only thing that matters is who you are on the inside. In the end we're not hippies, yippies, yuppies, hipsters, beatniks, jocks, nerds, geeks, etc. In the end, we aren't a label, we are children of God