The 10 Types of People in a Chick Flick

Siting in my chair one day I realized that every Chick Flick has the same types of characters. My first thought was "are there 10 types?" Not because I wanted to know if there were 10 types but because I was bored. 

1) The Sweet and Shy Main Character

This person cannot be any more obvious. They are generally the person that has gotten out of a bad relation ship, ended a relationship, had someone die, or they are simply on the cover of the DVD case. If they are a guy they also always are wearing a suit as if it is their only article of clothing aside from the shorts and t-shirt they wear while  in the woods.

Conversation with Main Character
Me: So tell me about yourself
Them: Well...I never married because I wanted to further my career. However I have a deep longing to fall in love that I have been putting aside because I view it as a weakness. But now I realize that it is not a weakness...but a strength.
Me:.....ok....what are your thoughts on Sonic the Hedgehog?...go...

2) The Love Interest

This person is also easy to spot seeing as they are usually on the front of the DVD case too. The love interest can come from anywhere really. From a successful business person who doesn't know how to dress to a hobo...seriously! In the middle of the movie they are bound to have a life changing makeover that gets the main characters attention. Just think of the princess diaries transformation.

Conversation with Love Interest
Them: All I want is love (dreamily stare out window)

Me:....so no to the chicken romana?.....what are you looking at?

3) The Misunderstood Jerk
This is the guy that everyone looks at and says.."what a jerk". Whether it be because of his leather jacket or hardened expression, this guy is really a sweet person. The only reason he doesn't show it is because he needs to be strong and cool.

Conversation with Misunderstood Jerk
Me: Dude! Why did you just give that kid a wedgie but let the other kid go?
Them: The kid deserved a wedgie, but the other kid tried to protect him. He also had brown hair like my bunny, Giggles McJumpy.
Me: Whatever you say big guy, I was jus.....wait.....Giggles?

4) The Legitimate Jerk
This guy is just a jerk and nobody likes him for a good reason. Maybe it's his hair and everybody is jealous. Or maybe it's his muscles....we don't know. All we know is that we hate him.

Conversation with Misunderstood Jerk
Them: I am going to beat that kid up because I want to. I have absolutely no reason to do so except to watch him cry.
Me: Dude, that's heartless.
Them: Well it all started when..
Me: WAIT STOP! You aren't allowed to have any past story that may lead to redeeming qualities....it's in your contract. Sorry.

5) The Sweet and Shy guy who doesn't get the girl because he is not the main character
This second guy is usually the one that all the girls love because he isn't taken. People are usually upset when this guy doesn't get love but remember...it's not in his contract. Lets not give up hope though, there's always hope for a sequel!

Conversation with this guy
Me: Why are you looking at the window?
Them: (Looking out the window dreamily) because I'm thinking. I just saved the girl I love from death by giving her a blood transfusion but the first person she saw in the hospital was the main character who is equally as sweet and shy as me.
Me:.....(look through script) What kind of plot is this?

6) The Scheming Jealous Person
This person takes on many appearances. To me, it takes the appearance of a pasty white blond women with a large jaw and red dress. Sort of a Cruella DeVille meets Missi Pyle (Mrs. Beauregard from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory). Without fail, you always want this person to be hit by a bus by the halfway point. But don't get mad at them. They are there to move the plot of the movie forward!

Conversation with the Jealous Person
Me: You really think that releasing a swarm of bees into the wedding is going to solve anything?
Them: It's all simple. I ruin the big day and the hormonal bride will probably blame the groom. That will mean that there will be no wedding and that there will be more time for me to swoop in! My plan cannot fail, it is perfec...
Me: They just said 'I do'
Them: Crap! Fly me minions!
Me: Wow....out of all the beehives you had to get the empty one.
Them: I'll get another one and release it into the honey moon suite!
(runs outside and gets hit by bus)

7) The Funny/Helpful Friend
The Best friend. Sometimes they are combined with the person who doesn't get the girl because they aren't the main character. However the best friend has some other thing that makes them undesirable. They always seem to have really lax morals and living in a lower class than the friend.

Conversation with Friend
Them: You're a lucky guy. She really is a great girl. (Looks out window dramatically)
Me: What the heck are all you guys looking at?
Them: Nothing. I was just thinking how much I love her.
Me: Do you often pour out your feelings while looking out a window and thinking?
Them: The script didn't give me much to work with. It was either this or looking over the landscape on a horse.

8) The Old People that make the movie worth it
Let's be real. This is the only reason I watch Chick Flicks. There is always some old person that makes hilarious, sometimes inappropriate, and sometimes badly timed comments. They have the attitude of "I've lived longer than you, therefore I can do what ever I want". Apparently "What ever I want" includes scheming to get grand babies.

Conversation with The Old Person
Me: Wait Stop! That isn't safe and will not make them fall in love!
Them: Don't mess with me Seacrest! I survived two wars and the depression. I can survive base jumping! And what do you know about love! This will work. I WANT GRAND BABIES!!!!
(a couple hours later)
Me: I can't believe that worked.....
Them: Shut up! I can't hear my stories.

9) The Person That tries to help but really just messes stuff up
They're either clumsy or socially awkward. They've got some sort of quirky charm about them that makes what ever they do, no matter how bad it is, turn out good. Their attitude is usually overly optimistic and they always have a bright eyed innocence about them.

Conversation With This Person
Them: Who knew they both liked birds? I guess locking them in the aviary wasn't such a bad thing after all! I'm glad they're happy. (Looks out window dramatically)
Me: YOU TOO? What the heck is this movie!

10) The Phantom of the Opera
Yes. This is a Category. The Phantom. The guy that freaks everybody out but in the end everyone is cheering for. Thinking back I could have renamed this as the character that redeems himself but "The Phantom of the Opera" is so much cooler. With him you realize that he is a creeper though. Lets look at the facts. He's at least 20 years older than the girl, he spies on her in her dressing room from behind a mirror, he kidnaps her and tries to make her his bride, and then he goes on a killing spree trying to win her love. BUT WAIT!....he's got a cape, mask, and angelic voice.......all is forgiven!!!!

Conversation with The Phantom
Them: SING MY ANGEL OF MUSIC!
Me:...aw crap....
Them:....oh! sorry....wrong mirror
Me: whew!...that was scary (leaves room)
Person hiding in drapes: .....Is he gone?

Ramblings

Hello! I've got my head full of thoughts and things. Non personal things mind you although quite close to the heart. To all of you who are now thinking "oh no, he's going to rant" Don't worry! I only rant when I am actually distressed and is almost never. These are ramblings. I simply think words and type them out onto this nicely formatted little box. Once I have finished said ranting I will simply click the publish post button and make it so all of you can see it. Clever eh? (by the way, if you want this to be a little more entertaining then it already isn't, imagine it being read or spoken in a very rapid and excited British accent)

Firstly, Boxes! Their fantastic little things aren't they! You put things in them and can save space! If we are to be thankful for anything it should be for boxes.

Music is a great thing. Who would have thought the a group of sound waves could all be tuned to certain pitch's and then played in a certain order to create joy! It's almost as cool as how chemical reactions of nuclear fusion, plasma and other impressive sciency words that happen in the sky can create the happiness of looking at little lights and make little stories about them!

Girls. Confusing creatures. I don't mean creatures in the scary primal state that will eat your face if you accidentally step in their territory (guys, I can already tell a few of you are thinking of some snarky comment..don't, it's dangerous). No, I mean the lovely creatures that have been seen so rarely that we often regard them as angles or goddess's. Granted we see them all the time. In fact there is an obvious over population of them at BYU (not too much of a problem, depending on how you look at it). My only thoughts on this situation is that I may or may not be completely in love with one. Not sure yet. Waiting to see how the wind blows....fantastic thing wind

Wind! Makes you fly kites, makes windmills run, makes those ridiculous little birds think their falcons. I love wind. In reality it's everywhere. If you don't like it you might be in a pickle because of that fact.

Being in a pickle...what a fantastic saying. Makes absolutely no sense because some people really like pickles and being in one might just be heaven. You never know, people are weird.

That's all that is really on my mind at the moment. Just a sense of happiness that makes me happy about everything. Funny how live works isn't it?

Hope you mates had a great Christmas!
and will have a happy new year. lol smiley face :)

To the Dudes I Know

So if you read the girls post, you will see that I rhymed (or attempted to rhyme) little lines unique to each one of them in gratitude.

I will not be doing this for you.

Sorry mates. Poems to girls are cool like bow ties. Poems from a dude to another dude..well...I'll leave that to Shakespeare....
And lets be real, I have a lot more guy friends that girl friends (kind of sad really). I can't list you all.

So I shall speak the common language of Dudes.....

You guys are as cool as Chewbacca and Yoda...combined....

You guys are like a battle between Sherlock Holmes and The Joker. Epic and Chaotic

You guys are as cool as the battle between Groudon and Kyogre.

You gents are awesome....live long and prosper brethren








































Hippies Rule.....
















Batman and Green Lantern for life

To The Girls I Know

I twas sitting about and thinking one day, "I've got some awesome friends!" Not only that but how many of those awesome friends are girls. Why was I thinking about this? You can think my little brother Seth for that. Him being embarrassed about girls reminded me when I was his age and embarrassed when girls said hi to me (though lets be real...that still happens....) and when my parents would tease me (and again, let's be real...that still happens too....) So here is my ode to the awesome girls that I've hung out with lately. This is only a few of the girls I know, so if you are not on this list I'm sorry and I still love you. :)

Dania: The beautiful girl with the fiery hair, the contagious laugh, and more.
Every time she smiles at me it makes my spirit soar.

Catie: The Doctor Who girl that has an awesome sense of humor and a smile that will never fade.
Not to mention we were orchestra buddies since the 7th grade.

Eve: My crazy work buddy that always has a huge smile and a twinkle in her eye.
Sometimes when I hear her voice, I breath a lovesick sigh.

Bronwen: The cutest girl you'll ever meet with the cutest smile and eyes.
Too bad she sometimes isn't here and is freezing at BYU I.

Matt & Andrew: You gents have got your mission calls. Got out and teach the world.
Though in retrospect...why'd I write you this.....you guys I know aren't girls......

Jasmine: What light beyond your window breaks!...wait no..that's too cliche'.
Let me say it in a different way, you brighten up my day!

Kristy: What can I say? You're the best! You're smile is like no other.
But I regret to say, that to this day, I'm still competing with Seth...my brother...

Stephanie: We grew up together and still we're friends, she also made me (sort of) like country
I just can't believe I'm friends with such a girl so pretty!

I'm slightly sick and really tired, so I hope these rhymes don't fail
To tell the truth, I was inspired by Chicago and "Knights Tale"

In someways it may seem out of character, and some lines rhymes may not fit
But I can tell you, this was fun, because you girls are worth it (the mini poems and praise)

So in this holiday season of gratitude and cheer.
I'll say happy Christmas and a Merry New Year :) (yes that was on purpose)

Merry Christmas Girls

The Greatest Love Songs....in my opinion

Feeling angsty? Then this probably isn't the list for you. When I say angsty, I mean Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus, The Band Perry, etc.

This list has the true masters of the love song. As you guessed, most of these songs are from before our time...as in the 80s and 70s. 

5) You're The Inspiration by Chicago

This song is fantastic. It's the song that one should listen to when they think that life is getting to hard and that they should just quit. Why? Because this song will remind them that there is something to hold on to and to keep being good for. Maybe not something, but someone. The guiding light in the darkness.

4) I'll Be There For You by Bon Jovi

Ignore the Goofy 80s hair and music video. This song is something special because it has the message that I'll always be there for you. Through the good and the bad, even if you hate the guy, he'll still be there for you. 

3) All of my Love by Led Zeppelin 

It may be a little of the beaten trail of love songs, but Led Zeppelins cryptic messages and allusions to mythology, I feel, make this a great song.

2) Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd

Believe it or not, Pink Floyd can make a great love song. And instead of it being some trippy allusion that he would like to have you near (though there are some creative, not quite trippy metaphors and similes), he comes right out and says it "How I wish you where here"

1) In My humble opinion, the greatest love song is this.......

Faithfully by Journey

Just listen to it and you'll understand what I mean.

In each of these songs is a little part of what some believe. They keep holding on because a girl is the inspiration, they promise that they will always be there for them, even when it's hard. They will give all of their love because they deserve noting less. They will always have the girl on their mind and wish they were with them, and most importantly they will be faithful, no matter what.

The 10 Types of Nerds

When it comes to the world of Nerd and Dorkdom, it is important to know were you fall in the spectrum of nerd. Unlike other spectrums, this one only has three true categories: The Closet Nerd, The Normal Nerd, and the Obsessive Nerd. Within each group though there are the different types of nerds. Each devoted to their own different type of....thing....

1) The Closet Nerd is probably the most common type of nerd simply because they dominate the Middle and High Schools. Closet nerds however are the most likely to change into either a Normal Nerd or and Obsessive Nerd. The reason they are in the closet? Probably because they don't want to admit that they like something that everyone secretly loves. The big example is Pokemon in the middles school. You will be shunned and made fun of for playing in in public while the other kids are all playing it in private. Their just ashamed of their level 100 Charizard.

Conversation with a Closet Nerd
Me: Dude, have you ever played Pokemon?
Friend: Ya, a while ago. I've grown out of it..
Me: Bummer, I've been playing and I have a level 35 Charizard. One more level and it evolves!
Friend: Actually it evolves at level 37. Blastoise is the one that evolves at 36. Personally I would have chosen Squitle then trained a Grolithe as my fire type.
Me: .....what?.....
Friend: I mean.....uh......them Lakers eh? 


2) The Normal Nerds are probably the most manageable of the nerds. They enjoy their nerdy vices but they don't think it is the best. They have a basic knowledge of the different stories and nerd mediums and they have a favorite, but they are the least likely to put you down or challenge your favorite. Pretty chill and passive aggressive.

Conversation with a Normal Nerd
Me: Dude, I just saw Tron....it's awesome. I think it is my new favorite movie.
Friend: That's cool. I wasn't so much a fan of the movie but I like the concept of it all. I prefer Star Wars.
Me: Star Wars is pretty cool. Who would win? Rinzler or Count Dooku?
Friend: Rinzler for sure man.


3) The Obsessive Nerd is probably the most feared of all the nerds. Unlike the normal nerd that will have a logical (or as close to logical as you can) conversation with you, they will destroy you. Never engage one in a debate. If you win you can bet that you will find some threat in Klingon written on your door.

Conversation with The Obsessive Nerd
Me: I just got the new Pokemon game. I'm not going to lie, it's pretty fun.
Friend:....are you kidding me? 
Me: What?
Friend: You bought that game? With the 5th generation of Pokemon?
Me: Yes
Friend: Where is it? We Sacrifice it tonight to appease the mighty Mewtwo.
Me: You might want to rethink that man.
Friend: SILENCE HEATHEN


Those are the Three main personalities of a nerd. But what about the different worlds?

4) The Space Out Nerds. They are the people who like any kind of Science Fiction. From Star Wars to Star Trek. This is the group that you are most likely to see battles within the group however. The Enterprise Vs. the Millennium Falcon is a personal favorite of mine. No matter who you are in this group though. It is all agreed that Yoda is the ultimate winner of all battles with Darth Vader as a close second.

Conversation with a Space Out Nerd
Me: Dude, what is that?
Friend: It's my new lightsaber! What do you think?
Me: It's pretty cool....why is it purple?
Friend: So that it's like Mace Windu's.
Me: ....Isn't Mace Windu Black?
Friend: Yes
Me:....Dude, you're the whitest kid I kn...
Friend: Shhhh.......

5) Long Ago Lands Nerd. These nerds are the followers of Fantasies. Usually they can name every race in Middle Earth and can then speak the language of the elves. After that they would probably quote some prophesy and then talk about how they are the subject of said prophesy. In all reality I don't mind these nerds as long as they can also pull out the Religious themes and motifs from J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis's work. If they can't then I weep for the future.

Conversation with a Long Ago Lands Nerd
Friend: We should watch all of the Lord of the Rings Movies in one night.
Me: Ok, that sounds sweet.
Friend: We should also dress up.
Me:...um...ok....sure
Friend: I'll be Gandalf, you can be Frodo.
Me: ....I'm not that short man.

6) The Comic Book/Superhero Nerd. Admitting, I am one of these nerds. I can proudly say that I am a fan of the X-Men, That my Favorite Hero is The Green Lantern (but if I could be a superhero it would be Hulk), My favorite villain in Venom, and that my favorite superhero team is NOT the avengers (gasp!) But I think that the Justice League is the bomb. (Sorry for the Deception mates.) Honestly though, who isn't a superhero nerd? Everyone loves them! Usually the nerds also know more information about the superhero than is usually known.

Conversation with a Comic Book/Superhero Nerd
Me: Did you see the new Spider-Man Trailer?
Friend: Ya man, it looks awesome. I especially can't wait to see the Proto-Goblin.
Me: Who?
Friend: The Proto-Goblin, He was the test subject for the Green Goblin Serum. 
Me: Oh ya!.....that....guy....(poker face)


7) The Collectible Nerd. If you are this kind of nerd then you know exactly what I mean when I say, "I challenge you to a duel!) I don't know what it is, but it just feels cool when you have a deck or a game that is different from anyone else's. No one has your same cards. No one has your exact Pokemon team. It's just awesome to try and catch them all! One thing is aways agreed on between these nerds. Pokemon over Yu Gi Oh and Digimon and First Generation above all the others.

Conversation with The Collectible Nerd
Me: Arcanine! Use Fire Wheel!
Friend: Arbok, dodge and use Poison Bite!
(This would probably continue for about an hour so I'm not going to try and finish this conversation)

8) War Time Nerd. These are the black ops kids. They think they know everything to war because they have have fought off a horde of Nazi Zombies. If all our soldiers were playing these games the wars we are in would be over....no joke...sort of joke but mostly serious.

Conversation with a War Time Nerd
To tell you honestly I don't know what these conversations are like or I can't think of one off the top of my head. They'll probably list of a number of guns and then describe how they killed an entire army singly handed. They will also without fail talk about how they blew someones head off. 


9) Whovian. What is a Whovian? Have you ever heard of Doctor Who? Why are you shaking your head? Are you a hater? Probably. Doctor Who is one of those shows that people either hate or love. And when it is loved you cannot sway a follower from talking against it. It does however have the most contention. People always have their favorite Doctor and favorite Companion. Personally I like the 6th and 3rd doctor and Amy and Rory as the companions. Don't judge.

Conversation with a Whovian
Me: Don't Blink
Friend: But I need fish custerd
Me: Fine, could you pass me my sonic?
Friend: Sure, could you pass me my Fob Watch?
Me: Dude, don't open it yet. If you do then the angels will recognize you and take the phone box.
Friend: Let's be real, they will recognize us anyway because I'm wearing a Fez and your wearing a bow tie.
Me:....At least we go down looking cool....
(As you can see, both me and my friend are Whovians)

10) Harry Potter Nerds. Let's just say that there were a lot of disappointed people after Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part II. Not because it was bad (it was awesome). But because there are no more movies. Don't worry though....there's always Pottermore....

Conversation with a Harry Potter Nerd

These are the categories. People usually fit into a couple of different categories. If you only fall into one then you must be really devoted. Personally I'm a true blood Whovian, Space Out, Collectible, Superhero nerd with a touch of Long Ago Lands.

Life

This is a world of darkness and there is no way to hide from it. This is a time when temptation is a king with hatred and sin as it's two messengers. And in this time it is easy to forget where you stand as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. All too often we see people who say that it is appropriate to lie here and there, to use profane language, and to engage in those activities that would otherwise be considered uncivilized and immoral, and then they say that it is okay, they are saved because what they did wasn't that bad. But everywhere we learn that even once can be destructive. For the Devil "lull(s) them away into carnal security, that they will say: All is well in Zion; yea, Zion prospereth, all is well-- and thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell".

God wants all of us to return, and the devil wants all of us to be "miserable like unto himself" Remember that even though darkness is everywhere and is the natural thing, light will always overpower it. Wickedness cannot exist in the presence of good. Evil cannot exist in the presence of Righteousness. Christ is our master, our savior, and our king. He is the loving father of our bodies, and our caring and concerned elder brother. Yet why do some run from him when his arms are stretched out to save?

My brothers and sisters, I do not write this in an attempt to show off my faith and beliefs like a car on display, but to allow others to know what I believe. And I hope that I will be able to be an example of the believers in all that I do. What I say, I feel constrained to say and do not wish offence.

Too all those reading, you must know that I love you and pray for you. I am nothing much and am far from perfect, many know that. But the the thing that I want you all to know is that even though I am far from perfect and am myself climbing out of the darkness, I Know that my redeemer lives. I often thought that it was impossible to know such a thing, but I now I know I was wrong. I know that the gospel is true and that it has be restored to the earth. I know that Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon and I know that it is the most correct book on the face of the earth. I only pray that someday I will be as the Brother of Jared and have a perfect knowledge and be able to shout it to the whole world, but as Alma once dictated "I do sin in my wish". But I will still proclaim, from the mountains to the seas, That I Know that Christ lived and died for us.

Brothers and sisters again, I love you. If there is one thing that I am able to leave you as we go our separate ways in life, it is that I have a testimony and that nothing can turn me from it.

I say these thing humbly
In the name of our savior and redeemer, even Jesus Christ
Amen