Thursday, February 9, 2012

Welcome to the BYU Pokemon League

Yes, you have just graduated from High School. But now you have to go to the great big thing that is called "The Real World"....It might be dangerous. You're only a freshmen. But wait! You have the ability to do something that could help you out in this real world!....COLLEGE!

It's Dangerous out there. Here, choose one of these:

Fine Arts Major: Good at interpreting. They grow fast. A good beginner Major

Science Major: Good at observation: They grow slower, but worth it.

Business Major: Sturdy and reliable. Grow at normal rate..but room to expand!

Have you chosen? Good.

Now we start our journey. First you have to fight your rival. If you chose Fine Arts Major, you're rival chose a Science Major. If you chose a Science Major, he has chosen a Business Major and if you chose a business Major, you are fighting the Fine Arts Major.

In case any of you disagree, here is my logic
Science Major-----------Disproves, over analyzes, and using logic-------------defeats Fine Arts Major
Fine Arts Major----------uses beauty, abstract thinking, and pretty colors---------defeats Business Major
Business Major---------Argues, uses aggression and strong hotheadedness--------defeats Science Major


You face your first gym match.....general education. Some of the classes are easy to defeat while others just don't suit your desired major. But you have to defeat them.

What's This? 14-16 credits? Your Major is Evolving!!
Congratulations! Your...
Science Major is now a Biology Major
Fine Arts Major is now a Music Major
Business Major is now an Economics Major

Now you are fighting your next semester. Again, it is a gym where some of the subjects are suited to you but others aren't. But you no the drill so you probably got a couple more skills to fight them with.

Men!...and some Women (because you can choose to go on a mission)....you have been given a free skill set!...Language Training! What will this language training turn into? If you want, you can keep it the way it is and it will become a Western Humanities Major.
If exposed to Spain, Mexico, or any state side speaking mission, then it will become a Spanish Major
If exposed to Canada, France, then it will become a French Major
If exposed to Russia, Russian Major.
Etc. etc.

It you develop it and you love it, it will probably become something like a Spanish Literature Major or a French Humanities Major.

If you develop it and don't love it....it will probably run away....

Oh No! It's Team BYUSA!!! They all have and English or Performing Arts Major!!!! and they are trying to capture the Legendary Majors.....The Legendary Trio....The Physics Teaching Major, The Applied Physics Major, and The Astrophysics Major.

If you are lucky you can capture all three, there fore guaranteeing your graduation.

Wait! What is This? Your major is Evolving again!
Your Biology Major is now a Biochemistry Major!
Your Music Major is now a Performance Major!
Your Economics Major is now a Global Supply Chain Management Major

It's time to face the Elite Four and the Champion! Unlike your other gym battles, these are one on one duels of logic with each of these majors.

First: Philosophy Major. Seems easy to fight at first, but watch out! They have a strong attack!

Second: Chemical Engineering Major. They have strong logic, but they have one major hole in their attack and defense....The Performance Major would come in handy here.

Third: Genetics and Biotechnology Major. He is fairly well rounded and can attack on many fronts. Just be patient.

Fourth: Neuroscience Major. This will be your most difficult battle. Since the thing they study is the human brain, they will be able to parry and block most attacks. They are basically the psychics. The only way to beat them is to either let their sense of superiority take them down or resort to the thing that all psychics fear...physical attacks....

The Champion: What could possibly be so terrifying that it beat all the elite four? It is a Chemistry Major that teaches Organic Chemistry! Not only that......but he is an American Heritage TA!!!

If I were you, I would give up hope.

But Wait! You have captured the Three of the most powerful degrees (not as powerful as the champion, but combined....maybe) Simply use the Physics Trio and use the two most powerful attacks that every single major is weak to: The Theory of Relativity and Quantum Mechanics!!!

Congratulations, you have just beat the champion. Now you have the chance to catch the two legendary majors that supposedly created the world Particle and Theoretical Physics as well as the three legendary teaching Majors: English Teaching, Physical Education Teaching, and Elementary Ed.

And you know what the great thing about this league is? There are a limited number! There are other Leagues like the Harvard League, the Julliard League, even the UVU League, but they all have around the same majors. None of this 600 and some-odd crap.

Hope you enjoyed this.

(Note: I used stereotypes when I described Majors and stuff...don't be offended...I know plenty of people who don't fit any of the descriptions)

2 comments:

  1. Hahahaha, that was way sweet. I will say, however, that Economics is not a business major per se... but that's alright. =D

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    Replies
    1. haha It was hard man. I had a list of byu majors up when I wrote this

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