I'm So Hipster that...

I'm so hipster.....

......my jeans are painted on

.....my ipod has the android symbol

.....that my vintage shirts are from the Victorian Era

.....that my shoes are just fabric wrapped around my foot

.....that I only have half a mustache

.....that my glasses have gravitational pull

.....that my favorite movie hasn't even come out yet

.....a recording of the wind chimes is on my ipod, just in case they hit it big

.....you probably haven't heard my name, it's really unknown and underground

.....I have a tattoo of Ernest Hemingway on my wrist

.....that I found deep made-up meaning in Twilight

....that I use a flashlight and water bottle for a lamp

....that I refer to The Beatles as The Quarrymen

.....I listen to an orange being blended and call in my new hit single

.....I eat the decorative leaves and say they have healing properties

.....My favorite color is reen. It's a combination red and green...you probably haven't seen it.

.....that I named my ukulele.

.....I changed my name to Dominic Mango

.....My favorite band is the lawnmower and leaf blower

.....by bicycle is hand pumped

.....my V-neck and Scarf are considered one piece of clothing

.....my beanie was tailor-made to not fit my head

You Might Be A Hipster If....


.....you only drink organic water

.....you have a pet armadillo

.....your V-neck goes to your belly button

.....your favorite superhero is Aqua-Man and you refer to him as Namor

.....you know that Aqua-Man and Namor are two different people

.....you smell bad but consider it your natural perfume

......your named is spelled in numbers

.....if someone asks if you like something you automatically think its an obscure band. (ex. 'do you like apple juice?'   'ya, I saw them at the Muse last week')

.....you don't like Arcade Fire anymore

......you can't say 'mainstream' without a condescending smirk

.....you think everything is about the human condition

.....if you are not reading this

.....if you read this and decided to try and correct me in the comments