Broadways got some winners eh?

One of the things that I love about Broadway performances is that they always have that epic song that calls you to action or that inspires you in some way. Of these here are my top five favorite epic Broadway songs.

5. Falcon in the Dive (The Scarlet Pimpernel)
I consider this one epic because it is very similar to another one of my favorite songs that talks about catching someone. I think the entire concept of two people who believe they are doing the right thing and yet are against each other is a great concept.

The Song that Goes like This (Spamalot)
This song is memorable simply because of it's message....and that message is that every show has a song that goes like this.....

Dream The Impossible Dream (Man of La Mancha)
I must thank my friend Andrew for introducing me to this Brian Stokes Mitchel Character. I had always liked this version of "The Impossible Dream". I never realized it was the legendary gent himself. Another great version is the Mo-Tab version. This song is fantastic because of the desire to do that which is impossible and succeed. My favorite line from this song (and one I kind of wish I could put on a missionary plaque if I was allows) is "To fight for the right, without question or cause, to be willing to march into Hell for a heavenly cause!" and "The world, will be better for this. That one man, scorned and covered with scars. Still strove with his last ounce of courage to reach the unreachable star" Pure epicness

Anthem (Chess)
If anyone knows me very well, they know that I don't really like patriotism. Don't get me wrong, I love America, but I don't think that being patriotic means dressing up in flamboyant red white and blue and singing only country and I love America songs. I'm sorry if you disagree, it's just the way I am. I love this song because it describes my patriotism. Just like the person in the song, I don't need to outwardly show that I am proud of my country and shove that belief down everyone's throats. No, instead I share what I believe and leave it at that. The lines "She is the constant, we who don't care" "I cross over borders but I'm still there now" and the epic "My lands only boarders lie around my heart." accurately describe my philosophy.

Stars (Les Miserables)
This is the song that I always think of when I hear "Falcon in the Dive". Besides that, stars has the coolest lyrics of any song I've heard. I think it's brilliant how they make this song sound like it is the hero's anthem, but the it turns out to be the enemies theme. After hearing this song you sympathize with Javert. After all, he's only doing his job. This is probably on of my favorite over all songs of all time....and when I say all time I mean all my 18 years of considerable knowledge...."God, let me find him, that I may see him, Safe behind bars! I will never rest, till then this I swear, This I swear by the Stars!" Talk about power and resolve!

So if you're feeling down. Give these songs a listen. They are fantastic.

Coulrophobia and Autonomatonophobia

Alright. Here is the post were I make confession (or rather state an embarrassing fact).

I'm not sure what it's called but Google called it Coulrophobia and Autonamtonophobia.

According to the all knowing Google, Coulrophobia is the fear of Clowns. I actually do have this fear. I am more scared of clowns than heights if that helps any of you understand. This fear stems from when I was a young child (and when I say young I mean like 5 or 6) and I was dumb enough to watch "It", which is basically about a killer clown. I was also dumb enough to watch "The Poltergeist" soon after and because of the clown scene it that movie I have been legitimately scared of clowns ever since.

Autonamtonophobia is a fear of animatronic figures, wax figures, and Ventriloquist dummies. I have this to a much lesser degree. I don't mind wax figures or animatronic figures...but I cannot be in the same room as a ventriloquist dummy. When I say dummy I don't mean Jeff Dunham, he's hilarious. I mean the creepy ones that have suits and such. I got this fear because I watched a show called Goosebumps as a kid (again 5 or 6) and one of the stories was centered around a dummy that came to life. I would have a picture...but I refuse to Google dummies and clowns.

Even by writing this post I'm starting to freak out so I'm going to wrap it up.

I also hate china dolls. I don't know why but those have always bothered me.

So there it is. Is it irrational?....Yes.....I really can't explain it

My encounter with a ghost

I've never given much thought to ghosts. I personally don't believe in them. But after the experience that happened a couple nights ago....I am now a believer.

It all started when I went to start my car. When I got in I noticed that the gas gauge was pointing to low. It was strange because I had recently filled it up. Now it was empty, how do you explain that? I then started the car and was amazed to see that it had gone back to full..........I don't know any other explanation other than some foul creature had stolen all my gas and then put it all back. Why else would it go from empty to full in less than a second! It was trying to get to me.

Later that day I had to take a test in the testing center. I decided to take one of the only free desks which happened to be right at the front of the giant room. I thought these would all be taken because it's so perfect. No one bothers you and it's by a window. Little did I know that it was HAUNTED!!! The entire time I was feeling a cold presence on my left side....ONLY...my left side. I think it was the spirit of a student who was caught cheating and he hasn't left. Or stopped cheating. I know this was a ghost because it was cold outside that day, and why on earth would the testing center have it's air conditioning on? They wouldn't because they, unlike us lowly humble test takers, are intelligent. It wanted my test answers. So I decided to trick it and I answered every single question wrong. Who's the smart one now? I just tricked a ghost.

I believe the cheating ghost followed me home that night because every time I passed a window or a vent I felt it's presence. Finally I decided to confront it. I opened the drapes and saw a FACE!!!.....after I let my brother into the house looked around for any spiritual evidence of a ghost. I then clearly saw the tree start shaking and the leaves started to fall. The dastardly ghost....clearly not an eco-friendly ghost.

Now you might think that I'm making this stuff up, but I'm not! You want proof? I haven't told anyone this...but I'm psychic. Every time there is a disturbance on a psychic level...I hear a sound. Inexplicably every time there is a ghost I start to hear Stairway to Heaven. Is there a message there? I think so! I have therefore decided to fight against ghosts and send them to where ever they came from!

(5 minutes later)

....Hi....this is the ghost.....I hacked Jeremy's blogger. All the stuff up top is all real so I thought I'd just put in a plug for all you unbelievers. Now that I've done that I guess I'll go cause some mayhem (allstate style) like close a door or turn off a light...ghost stuff. Dang I hear him coming. Gotta go

P.S. he got the building wrong....I'm from the SWKT

The 10 Types of Texters

In my experience as a texter of this generation, I have encountered 10 different types of texters. I'm sure there are more but these are the ones that seem to be more common than others.

1) The first and most abundant type of texter is the "Normal Texter" This could really be anyone, usually a friend or significant other. When they text, they usually text in such a fashion that if you were to read them out loud it would be as if you were actually talking to him/her. However, this type of texter is the most susceptible to corruption from any or all of the other groups.

Normal Text Conversation:

Me: Hey! What's up?

Them: Nothing much, just chillin' How was school?

Me: It was decent, I'd of rather stayed home.

Them: haha, I know how you feel

Me: Wanna meet up someplace?

Them: Sure, see you in 5.

2) The next type of texter is the "minimum amount of info" texter. These people, as their name describes, are usually the ones that text the least amount of info possible. Almost all of us have this type of texter in us, but it usually only comes out when we're doing something important like school...or avoiding.... According to a recent poll that is entirely ficticious, this group is the main cause of broken phones because usually the recipient will throw it out a window or on the ground out of frustration. It is also possible that they also just don't want to talk to you.

Minimum Info Conversation

You: What's up?

Them: Nothing.

You: Really? You're not doing anything?

Them: yep

You: Wow, boring. What about school?

Them: It's good

You:...Care to expound?

Them: nope

You: K....nothing?...Really?

Them: Yep

You: You need a life.

Them: Ya. I'm gunna go do homework...

You: SO YOU WERE DOING SOMETHING!!!!!

3) Now this is the opposite of the "minimum information". This is "The Novelist". These are the people that send you a text so long that half way through you give up and just reply "bummer" because if anyone is sending a text that long they are probably venting. Never seen a happy go lucky text that managed to cover 3 messages. But ask a friend one question about their bf/gf and BAM...you've just woken a sleeping giant. Now don't get confused, if the person really needs help and needs someone to talk to I'm always there. But please...I really don't care about your cat you named Johnny Depp.

The Novelist Conversation

Me: Hey! How was school

Them: Don't even get me started! First I had chemistry with blah blah blah.......

(7 messages later)

.... and that's why I'm never moving to Finland

Me:...Bummer...

4) Now this is the one that for guys will always get them in a lot of trouble. This is "The Flirt". These are the people that in the middle of the day they randomly text you something like "Hey Babe. You're looking hawt!" After you read that you have to explain to every single person that happened to be there and read the message that they are just joking. And almost every time you will get the response..."do they know that it's a joke?"

I hope they do because apparently I'm engaged to 3 different girls....

The Flirt Conversation:

Them: Hey hottie. Thinking of you

Me: That's nice

Them: C'mon babe, why won't you talk to me? You're making me sad! :(

Me: Sorry, I'm just a little busy...

Them: With who! Some other woman!

Me: Hey this is Jeremy's dad. He just went into surgery. I'm sure he'll dream of you

(thanks dad...)

5) The Foreign Language....how did these people even function in school? I don't mean bilingual people. I mean people who thing they are typing English when in reality it looks like they are typing martian

The Foreign Language Conversation

Me: Dude, what's up?

Them: Nthing mn. Wazzup choo?

Me: What?

Them: Whacho been upto?

Me: Oh! Nothing much. Just going to a movie later

Them: DUDE! DAT TOTES ROCKS BRO! hf.

Me: Thanks?

Them: rotflmal

Me: That's it. I'm getting you a dictionary.

6) "The Photographer" These are the people that at least three times a week send you a picture of something. It can either be deep like a flower in the dessert or something dumb like a cat wearing a top hat. In either case, these people get annoying really fast.

The Photographer Conversation

Them: Lol how cute! (Picture of two cats at tea party)

Me: Haha, that's awesome. Where was this?

Them: At my house. I dressed them up

Me: Dude, man card revoked

7) "The Joker" This is the person that when ever they text you can guarantee that they sent you a joke. Sometimes they're good. Sometimes you wish you could slap them through your phone.

The Joker Conversation

Them: Knock Knock

Me: um...whose there?

Them: Dwayne

Me: Dwayne who?

Them: Dwayne the tub? I'm Drowning!

Me: Is that a promise?

8) The Ignore.... You all know who it is. They either don't have their phone or they just don't want to talk to you. I suggest sending them 50 messages that all say the same thing.

The Ignore Conversation

Me: Dude, what's up?

9) We have all gotten the text that we know was sent to every single person you know. These are "The Invite/Group only" texters. It's not like they're bad...it's just irritating since that's all they send. Half the time they don't even know how you are. They just happen to have your number because you worked on an assignment together.

Then Invite/Group only Conversation

Them: Party at my place at 7. Pass the word!

Me: Cool, where do you live?

Them: Who is this?

10) Finally there is the last and most dastardly of all texters. And the sad thing is that sometimes they don't even have a phone. That's right, these are "The Phone Snatchers". These are the guys who find out who your secret crush is and decide to text her with strange and embarrassing messages. These are the guys who decide to steal your phone and text your parents about doing drugs or other strange confessions. Keep your phone close

The Phone Snatcher Conversation

Fake Me: Hey Beautiful. I love you.

Them:....um.....thanks?.....

Meanwhile in real life: Dudes....have you seen my phone?

NO!! (shoves it under couch cushion)

Besides these there are tons of others. In the end the best choice would be to just call them or write a letter. Much safer.

The Legends in Music

There is always a craze in music. You have from the indie artists like Arcade Fire and Fun. playing their fun little melodies to the techno and pop sensations like Katey Perry and Lady Gaga. But for these bands and everything in between we need to remember the roots of rock and roll. Not as far back as the African Spirituals and 50's big bands, But the people who changed Rock and Roll. In my humble opinion here are the top 5 bands that lead the revolution so to speak.

1) The Beatles.

They are probably one of the most important voices in this music revolution. Four shaggy headed kids from Liverpool, who doesn't love that? Their appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show singing "I want to hold your hand" introduced and made them even bigger in America. If only John Lennon had kept his mouth shut when he proclaimed, "we're bigger than Jesus". Maybe they wouldn't have lost some popularity. Almost all the band members are famous however only two are still alive. John Lennon was shot by a crazed fan and George Harrison died of cancer. Sir Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr are still performing.

Here's what to listen to if you're not familiar:

Let it Be

Come Together

Hey Jude

She Loves You

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

Eight Days a Week

I Want to Hold Your Hand

2) The Rolling Stones

When they came over the pond not only did they bring their music, but also their rebellion. Named after the blues legend, Muddy Waters, song "Rollin' Stone" these brits also took rock n' roll to another level. Where The Beatles were more progressive and pushing forward, The Rolling Stones were building off their knowledge of the blues and evolving it. Their lead guitarist, Kieth Richard, is considered one of the best guitarists ever. Mick Jagger is known for his huge mouth.

What to listen to if you're not familiar

(I can't get no) Satisfaction

Get off of my Cloud

Ruby Tuesday

Sympathy for the Devil

Paint it Black

Under my Thumb

3) Led Zeppelin

Pushing forward a couple years, Led Zeppelin (originally Lead Zeppelin but their manager thought Americans were thick and would pronounce it Leed) came to the front as a progressive rock band that worked with the blues. Their stage preformances were also legendary. Guitarist Jimmy Page and Bassist John Paul Jones are considered to be among the best guitarists and bassists.

What to listen to if you're not familiar

Black Dog

Stairway to Heaven

Immigrant Song

All of my Love

Whole lotta love

Kashmir

D'yer Mak'er

4) Pink Floyd

They may have been druggies, but they changed the way music was listened to. Up till now music was more for the entertainment of people. It was still an art, but now it was a different type of art. Psychadaliea. Instead of love songs and heartbreak songs, their singing about social issues and instead of just rebelling against the government, their saying no to the government. They don't sing to girls...but to walls. David Gillmore and Roger Waters are still touring though not together. The Albums "THE WALL" and "Dark Side of the Moon" are considered their most popular albums.

What to listen to if you're not familiar

Comfortably Numb

Happiest Days of our lives/Another brick in the wall part II

Brain Damage/Eclipse

Money

Us and Them

High Hopes

Wearing the Inside Out

5) Queen

Fast forward to the 80's. This band was a pioneer for music simply because their lead singer was a genius. Honestly, who else could have written a song like "We Will Rock You" where the only musical line other than the vocals is three beats? Who else could write anthems that would live on forever like "We are the Champions", "Bicycle Races", "Save Me", and more! Brian May is also one of the best guitarists in the world.

In case you're not familiar:

Save Me

Show Must Go On

Breakthru

Radio Gaga (the song that inspired Lady Gaga's name)

Bicycle Race

We Will Rock You

We are the Champions

Another One Bites the Dust

Good old Fashioned Lover Boy

Crazy little thing called love

I want to break free

Besides these five which are my Favorite, there are tons of others like: The Animals, Buddy Holly, Bob Dylan, Eric Clapton, The Who, and many more. Take a listen to these guys. These are some of the beginnings of rock and roll.

The Pentathlon: A Realistic Triathlon

Welcome to the readers sheet for the Fourth annual Provo Pentathlon. The event is much like a normal Triathlon with a few minor tweaks to give it what we feel is a more realist and less stressful time. The main events are as follows: Run, Bike, Swim. The other two events are combined with the Bike portion and the Swim portion.

To begin, you will run a 5k. Some of you will find this simple as you have been training for some time now...The rest of you will be wishing you were dead by the end of the second mile. There will be water stations along the course. However, keep in mind that you can not stop and will have to grab the cup out of one of our volunteers hands. If you manage to only get 3 drops of water total...consider yourself lucky.

The second event is the bike. You will be biking 10 miles all up hill and possibly in the rain. When (not if) your bike breaks down, you have just started the third event...bike repair. You will be asked to properly show how to fix your bike if:

a) The tire pops

b)The chain falls off

or c) The bike spontaneously combusted.

You are allowed to use whatever methods necessary, but keep in mind, fire extinguishers are not readily available in the forest.

The Fourth and Fifth event are as follows. Getting into your wetsuit, swimming five miles....up hill, then getting out of your wetsuit. For those athletes who thought they were so clever for not bringing a wetsuit, don't worry. We have devised a test that is almost equally as painful and humiliating. You will be asked to swim through a tank of hungry piranha while wearing clown make-up. We considered having you dress completely up as a clown....but we didn't want you to go through as much pain as the wetsuit wearers.

We wish all of you the best of luck. Not only luck in the race, but also luck in finding the finish line that was hidden by the creators of Where's Waldo.

Have Fun!

Le Pipe

This is not a pipe. Then what is it? It could be a metaphor for how nothing is truly as it seems. It could also be that the painter was just trying to mess with everyones mind. What ever the case we still have to ask...."If not a pipe, then what is it? It can't really be anything else." In one sense the painter could be talking about the words. The pipe is the pipe, but "ceci n'est pas un pipe" is not a pipe. Is he saying that words do not define what something is? That words alone cannot describe something or someone?