The 10 types of Student

Since I'm doing this post for the first time in a long time I feel obligated to say "It's been a while blah blah blah"

Instead I'll just say "Dude....what's up?" ignore your answer because I can't hear you (unless you call or text me...that would be weird) then continue on with the post.

1) Diligent Student

To start things we have your average Diligent Student. They try and find a balance between healthy lifestyle and good education...getting....Their natural habitat is the library where they constantly have their heads down in books and only look up to scare you away from their table. They may think that they have everything balanced...but underneath lurks a stress beast just trying to get out.

Conversation with the Diligent Student
Me: Dude, want to hang out?
Them: Ya sure, let me just finish my bio packet.
Me: Cool

2) Slacker Student

The Slacker Student is the bane of a professors existence. They don't ever come to class. Ever. Some say that they don't exist because no one has ever seen them. Well there is a place you can see them....at the bottom of the testing center stairs. They don't care how, but they need to read the last 200 pages of their bio book before they go take a test. But hey! If it works for you, kudos!

Conversation with a Slacker Student
Me: Hey can you help me with the physics homework?
Them: What physics homework?
Me: The assignment he gave us after he blew up the balloons
Them: He blew up balloons?
Me: Ya, during class?
Them: We had class!?

3) Straight A Student

They are usually found at the professors offices and at TA labs. If they get an A- look out! they will pitch and moan about it until it is changed. If you do happen to see their paper before them, take it upon yourself to either warn everyone else about it OR just put a little line through the - to make it a +. Add a smiley face for good luck.

Conversation with a Straight A Student
Me: Have you seen the straight A student? I haven't seen him for a week
Them: Ya I don't know. He should probably reappear in a couple weeks after finals
Me: We have finals?...

4) Getting By Student

These students work hard. Maybe even harder than the regular student. The only problem is that they either don't like it, they don't care, or it has nothing to do with their major. A majority of these students are found in freshmen classes. It's not that they're dumb (that's a different student). It's just not their cup of herbal tea. 

Conversation with a Getting By Student
Them: We should do something totally awesome man!
Me: Don't you have a test tomorrow?
Them: Ya, Don't worry. I already studied
Me: Shouldn't you get some sleep?
Them: I'll be fine....hey.....were's the straight A student?

5) Out of State Student

There are a lot of students from out of state. What sets them apart from the students in this group? No one knows where they're from. Yes, it's cool that you're from Montana or Idaho or Canada or somewhere else that has a lot of snow.....I don't care. If I take you out to dinner or even manage to cook food without burning it, I don't want to hear about how your mom made this exact same thing only better and that you would rather have that. Be lucky I didn't burn the flippin' place down!

Conversation with an Out of State Studnet
Me: Dang it's cold today
Them: You think it's cold Utah Boy? I'm from Alaska, we only have two seasons. Winter and more winter.
Me: Dude, chill.....mehe, see what I did there?

6) Show-Off Student

Yes....we all know you can hacky sack. We all know that you can play the first three violin concertos by Vivaldi. We know you have an entire box of level 100 pokemon. Stop talking and let us speak. In fact...let the teacher speak....... Ask a question or two even.

Conversation with a Show-Off Student
Them: Ya, I know like three or four different versions of If you could hie to Kolob on the piano. No big deal. I'm also learning guitar. Want to hear me play?
(proceeds to play two chords over and over again)

7) Hipster Student
Go to any philosophy or humanities class and you will see the hipster student in their natural habitat. It's not that they're irritating....oh wait....they are. Half of the hipster students take those classes because they really do like to think and they really do understand. The other half just likes to learn different names that they can throw around at their friends then follow it up with the phrase, "you probably haven't heard of them".

Conversation with Hipster Student
Me: What class do you have next?
Them: Oh...you probably haven't heard of it...

8) RM Students
Dazed look in the eye? Obvious confusion on their face? Yes my friends...that is a very recent RM. That's really all that needs to be said. You can also tell who is an RM because their favorite pick-up line is "So I served my mission in __________" Girls be careful....they're on the prowl....

Conversation with RM Student
Me: Dude, you should ask her on a date
Them: I don't know....I haven't done this for two years
Me: Don't worry about it
Them: (Introducing themselves to girl) Hi, I'm Elder Smith. Can I make an appointment with you to go to a place and eat food?
Me:.....I should have made him flash cards....

9) That Student
Who is 'That Student'? They are the brilliant student that apparently never studies but manages to pass all of his classes with flying colors. They are masters of multitasking There are very few of these students left because in order to be this student you must sacrifice sleep. Something that no one wants to do. Sometimes though you can find them in the library late at night trying to avoid the people who kick you out.

Conversation with That Student
Me: Man, how do you do so good in all your classes?
Them: I just study a lot at night
Me: How do you stay awake?
Them: Don't worry about it.....

10) Oh gosh Student
These are the kids you worry about. How did they even make it? How do they even function?....oh well. Everyone is unique.

Conversation with the Oh gosh Student
Me: And that is how the law of gravity works
Them:......so......what you're saying is.....if I drop this pencil (drops it).....it will go down?....
Me:....oh gosh.....